Tag: dad

i’ve been meaning to post an update here for a bit, but have been a smidge nervous about it. Which, is ridiculous, I know.

I guess with most of my experience coming from beginning ballet, where my heart was in it but I had to work very hard for any single bit of progress and fight to keep it, coming into violin has been one where I apparently have natural ability.

And, putting it bluntly, that feels fake.

Surely I really don’t and we just haven’t exposed how terrible I actually am, right?

It feels as though writing too many blog posts about how wonderful this experience is and the progress I’m making, and all the lovely compliments my teacher gives me (hi, David!) will somehow jinx me and i’ll find out I was a fraud all along.

Yet, here I am, lesson…five? I think? maybe six. And i’m learning vibrato, successfully achieved it, and each time David brings me something to challenge me, I somehow rise to it and give a decent effort to it.

I keep expecting me to hit a point where I have to remind myself why I want this, that I actually love it, and that all the hard work will eventually pay off. With ballet, that was basically immediate. I struggled so much, went home and found tutors and any scrap of instruction online that could be found and muddled my way through, supported by the encouragement of my teacher and peers and sheer stubborn determination. I was never great. I would say I was mediocre, at best, but my heart was in it. And when that was taken from me with all my health stuff, the loss had an added layer since it was something I fought so hard for.

Now, i’m beginning, again, something i’d always wanted to try from childhood. The lesson started with David calling me…a word neither of us could remember by the end of the lesson. He’s going to try and look it up—adept? Accomplished? an a word basically calling me a natural. (the word was adept!) Instinct is that there’s no way he’s saying these things about me, but then when he explained what this old book he dug up told him to do in regards to students like me, it made complete sense, and by the end of the lesson he was telling me how he can see such a difference just between last lesson to this one.

I told him how I had access to my friend, Angel’s, piano, and how finding the notes on there helped me translate it to violin. I’ve never had a piano lesson. my friends took piano growing up and showed me some basics like where C is, otherwise I used what David had shown me with violin to figure out where the notes are and help me process the progression for the song we’re working on. Then, I noticed the first note sounded like the first note from Hedwig’s Theme, so I picked it out as best I could by ear, getting all but the last two notes or so of the first phrase. Apparently that’s not normal.

My dad came by the studio today to help me figure out how to get our office phone moved over since we switched which room my office is in, and after I persuaded him to pick up the guitar and play what I was learning. He obliged, and David watched as dad picked out the notes by ear of what I was playing to find it and play with me. He said, “I see where you get it from!” to which my dad quickly said, “nah, she gets it from her grandmother, my mother”. so I guess imposter syndrome runs in the family as well, haha!

it was really special having my dad play with me, even for such a small amount of time. He’s been supportive with me learning violin, even if he may have had his doubts not necessarily in me but knowing how difficult the instrument is and hoping I wouldn’t be disappointed. I think it’s a fair reaction, and one i’ve been met with from many people when I told them I was going to start learning. My dad has been supportive of my ballet, as well, coming to any show even though it’s not something he has any sort of interest in beyond the fact i’m interested in it. I really appreciate it.

I’m excited to keep practicing on the tasks David has given me. It’s most fun when we’re working together, especially because he can call me out in real time on the small things i’m not doing properly that are messing me up, so i’m able to fix them right away. I have yet to leave a violin lesson where I felt anything but on top of the world. I’m so glad I was brave enough to begin this adventure, and I can’t wait to see where it takes me.

David and I joked about getting my nephew to play cello and my sister piano so we could form a band, which he suggested we name Emilee and the Davettes.

Perfection!

stay tuned for an update if David and I remember the word.