Well, ladies and gentlemen, it happened.
I had my first fall from pointe.
It happened during floor work. I’m behind everyone else as it is, but I’m doing the best I can. Thank God my teacher is really understanding and doesn’t make me feel pressured or rushed. Better to do it right.
We were going from the left side doing a pique to front attitude. I don’t even know how it happened but I ended up on my butt.
I burst into laughter.
After the fact, I always laugh at myself in how I’m disappointed no one is laughing with me. But, they’re my friends. And I just fell off my pointe shoe. Why would they laugh? Duh, Emilee. I guess laughing is my automatic response.
I got right back up after laughing and tried it again. I didn’t even think about being afraid until I noticed Jilissa’s concern and direct attention to my next move. This is when I became surprised in myself.
I’m always afraid. I’m always concerned. I always feel things deeply and take them to heart and take a while to shake them. But this time, I just got right back up and kept going.
I guess I’m finally growing up, eh?
When I noticed, I was grateful for Jilissa’s careful concern. It made me feel like trying again was safe; and it was. I always thought my left was my stronger side, but I guess on pointe it’s my right. She even complimented my roll down off pointe on the right side. The car wreck affected my left leg, but in turn I had more issues on my right. I guess with putting all the pressure and over-hyper extending it while over compensating for the injury to the left, it ended up affecting the right more. The right is the one I had to go to physical therapy for.
Well. I guess it worked.
I want to work harder. I want to improve. I want to become stronger and more stable and perfect the craft. And then I want to learn more and perfect that.
I want to dance as often as I can for as long as I can.
Life is to short to sit it out.