Secrets.

I went to dance class yesterday besides being sunburned to a crisp.
People called me stubborn or ridiculous, but I knew I needed to be there.
No excuses.
Honestly, it helped me;having my knees so tight helped me to feel what I was doing wrong or right.
On top of that, I’m glad that I was there to hear the tips Jilissa had.
While we were in Advanced class trying to work on combinations, she would do her normal thing where she would say things we needed to be working on as we danced. There was one that just clicked for Annika, and after it clicked, Jilissa talked to us.
“I knew what it was Annika needed to fix, but I knew it wouldn’t do any good if I said it. Sometimes the best way for y’all to learn is by letting you figure out where it is you’re going wrong and ask me in a way you understand. Sometimes it’s something really simple, and once it clicks, it makes all the difference. I have all the secrets, but if I tell you all the secrets, then they don’t mean as much. It’d be like me throwing up all over you all this dance lingo and you wouldn’t be able to handle it. But as you learn and practice and keep going, then I can give you the secrets as you’re able to handle them.”

Mind = Blown.

That’s how the Lord works. He has all the secrets to a successful life that we could ever need. But if He gave them all to us at once, then they wouldn’t mean as much. We wouldn’t yearn for them, we wouldn’t yearn for Him. It would be all to simple. Our pride would get in the way.
I’m not gonna lie, I laughed when she said the “throwing up” part. But that’s because I knew what she was saying was significant, and I was trying to remember it for this blog post. Everyone sure did look at me funny for laughing… hehehehe 🙂

Fuel the fire

In class yesterday, I noticed that I am now officially the only one not on pointe.
Everyone else has been able to get their pointe shoes and are now beginning to work on learning everything over again on their toes.
At first, it really bothered me. Them? How are they on pointe, and not me? I know I can do more than her!
But, then I thought about it. They probably remember to plie. They probably keep their heels down. They probably remember to spot. Those things Jilissa said I have to do before she’ll put me up on pointe. And not because she wants to be mean, or wants to keep me from the one thing I desire so badly. On the contrary. She does this to help me. She knows that it will be easier for me to transition to pointe if I can master these things in ballet shoes first. That it will be less stressful for me.
I know that I can trust Jilissa. I know that she knows better than I do. And even when it seems like everyone else is excelling before me, that everyone is better than me, that this isn’t a race. It’s not about whose better or whose worse or whatever. It’s about us going at our own pace, doing what is best for us. It’s hard, too, because some friends of mine have joined dance. And they are liable to be very fast learners. But I can’t let that get me down.
I have to remember where I came from. I have to remember that I am different. I have to remember how much I want this. I have to work hard.
I have to let the challenges fuel the fire.

Recital

We’ve had recital rehearsal the past two days
And I’ve realized that I want to dance.
Yes, I know, I already dance
But I want to make this one of my main priorities.
I want to be able to make it one of my main priorities.
I love dancing, I love preforming, I love practicing, I love it all.

I don’t know how this will happen, but my heart burns for it.