In class yesterday, I noticed that I am now officially the only one not on pointe.
Everyone else has been able to get their pointe shoes and are now beginning to work on learning everything over again on their toes.
At first, it really bothered me. Them? How are they on pointe, and not me? I know I can do more than her!
But, then I thought about it. They probably remember to plie. They probably keep their heels down. They probably remember to spot. Those things Jilissa said I have to do before she’ll put me up on pointe. And not because she wants to be mean, or wants to keep me from the one thing I desire so badly. On the contrary. She does this to help me. She knows that it will be easier for me to transition to pointe if I can master these things in ballet shoes first. That it will be less stressful for me.
I know that I can trust Jilissa. I know that she knows better than I do. And even when it seems like everyone else is excelling before me, that everyone is better than me, that this isn’t a race. It’s not about whose better or whose worse or whatever. It’s about us going at our own pace, doing what is best for us. It’s hard, too, because some friends of mine have joined dance. And they are liable to be very fast learners. But I can’t let that get me down.
I have to remember where I came from. I have to remember that I am different. I have to remember how much I want this. I have to work hard.
I have to let the challenges fuel the fire.
Started ballet late October of 2011 at the age of 23.
Began pointe training late August of 2013.