search instagram arrow-down
Emilee

Instagram

My front facing camera broke on my phone, making my already limited picture taking even MORE limited. Have a throw back from last spring. I have a blog post in the works. Life has been kinda nutty, my laptop *also* bit the dirt, and things have been kind of overwhelming. Y’all are always on my mind, though! You’ll be hearing from me soon. 💕
Classes yesterday brought to you in part by @leakycon (I don’t usually dress up for costume week, but i do try and incorporate Harry Potter to some degree 🤷🏼‍♀️)
New blog post, link in bio!
My friend Bailey and her company @companythreesixty made this and I have no more words to add. It’s perfect. #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ Why didn’t I report? I didn’t report because I thought that if I’m in a relationship with someone, it meant it was equally my fault. I thought the years of unhealthy feelings towards myself which ensued, were still invalid since it could have been worse. I thought I shouldn’t tell my Momma until a couple of years later on a beautiful mountain walk together, and even then, I softened the story from shame for how I’d appear to the person I love the most. I didn’t report because we live in a world where men use sentences like “it can always be worse” as psychological shrapnel. A world that tells us we should have done more to stop it. A world that, even when I remember the attempts to push away as clearly as consciousness cinema, I was scared to push too hard because I didn’t want to make someone mad. A world that makes me worry at sharing, because I have young students and ‘should be a role-model’: with a role model being pure, respectable, elite, undamaged. Now, a mother, wife, champion, boss... I still worry to report as innocuously as through a #WhyIDidntReport hashtag, lest I somehow appear less for having shared. But as someone who’s survived a darkness far worse than that described, and Shawshanked her way to a life of light- save for second glances over shoulders- I can say that the hardest person to report to is actually... yourself. It’s the you that you had once hoped to be. The you that you’ll never be again. The you that you wish you could go back and protect. The you you wish you had been (louder, less in shock, less weak). The you that once was but was taken. To all the Yous you once were reading this (and the You in me who still feels cemented by shame)... this should never have happened. It doesn’t matter how loud, quiet, forceful... how well you knew them.... You didn’t deserve to lose You because your body wasn’t left as yours. None of us do. None of us ever will. There is no good way to end this bit of writing, because the truth is: it hasn’t ended. A perfect sentence will not wrap this up. Y
Old picture, new post Link in bio
Teaching on my birthday is my favorite thing. Hi, I’m 30, and I gave full sized cupcakes to three year olds and I’m sure their parents hate me

Recent Posts

Recent Comments

vtgem24 on Oh, hi.
anothernightatthebar… on It comes and goes in wave…
vtgem24 on It comes and goes in wave…
anothernightatthebar… on Kansas City Meet-Up
vtgem24 on Kansas City Meet-Up

Archives

Categories

Meta

Categories

Meta

Secrets.

I went to dance class yesterday besides being sunburned to a crisp.
People called me stubborn or ridiculous, but I knew I needed to be there.
No excuses.
Honestly, it helped me;having my knees so tight helped me to feel what I was doing wrong or right.
On top of that, I’m glad that I was there to hear the tips Jilissa had.
While we were in Advanced class trying to work on combinations, she would do her normal thing where she would say things we needed to be working on as we danced. There was one that just clicked for Annika, and after it clicked, Jilissa talked to us.
“I knew what it was Annika needed to fix, but I knew it wouldn’t do any good if I said it. Sometimes the best way for y’all to learn is by letting you figure out where it is you’re going wrong and ask me in a way you understand. Sometimes it’s something really simple, and once it clicks, it makes all the difference. I have all the secrets, but if I tell you all the secrets, then they don’t mean as much. It’d be like me throwing up all over you all this dance lingo and you wouldn’t be able to handle it. But as you learn and practice and keep going, then I can give you the secrets as you’re able to handle them.”

Mind = Blown.

That’s how the Lord works. He has all the secrets to a successful life that we could ever need. But if He gave them all to us at once, then they wouldn’t mean as much. We wouldn’t yearn for them, we wouldn’t yearn for Him. It would be all to simple. Our pride would get in the way.
I’m not gonna lie, I laughed when she said the “throwing up” part. But that’s because I knew what she was saying was significant, and I was trying to remember it for this blog post. Everyone sure did look at me funny for laughing… hehehehe 🙂

Leave a Reply
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: