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Emilee

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New blog post is here—complete with pictures!
Last week of classes. There’s a new blog post about it. These were some of the gifts I was given. I’m dog sitting (peep Marble in the background) and was also given a chocolate mint plant in a pot painted by one of my sweet dancers that’s not pictured since it’s at my house, but seriously I have some of the sweetest kids (and moms!) I’m so grateful. ❤️
I saw Dracula this weekend, put on by my company, and wrote a blog post about it! Link is in the bio Thanks, @haeleighkathrynmae for sending me pictures since my brain was gone and I forgot to take any 😂
Not supposed to be doing these but 🤷🏼‍♀️ I can’t remember the last time I attempted a turn, but I was teaching a 6 year old I’ve been doing privates with this year and decided to just give it a whirl. My feet were making such funny sounds it alarmed our office clerk 😂 Ps. My phone is finally replaced! I’ll hopefully have a blog update soon. Stay tuned. ❤️
Great Britain friends, were coming for you!! #Repost @allie_on_pointe with @get_repost ・・・ EXCITING NEWS!! 🤩🇬🇧 • • • If you missed my story, @anothernightatthebarreofficial and I are headed to London (and parts of England) in SEPTEMBER! (Prices were much better than going in May like we had originally planned) SO, if you’re around and want to meet up or take a class or see a ballet, let us know!! We’d LOVE to meet as many of you as possible while we’re there!! Also if you have any suggestions for our trip! We don’t have a whole lot planned yet exactly and as we’ve both been there before we don’t need to do all the main touristy things. #adultballet #adultballetgang #adultballetcommunity #adultballerina
There’s a blog post for you on this fine Friday evening! Link is in the bio. Love you all, and hope you’re all well! 💕

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Today was rough.
My left leg (which is usually my good leg) felt fake.
My right leg oddly did well.
My brain felt like it wasn’t there at all
Seriously, like I couldn’t recognize anything above my neck. It felt blank.
What the heck has gotten into me?
I got really frustrated in class, and felt so horrible for it, because I couldn’t explain what had me so…just, off.
I ended up going up to Jilissa afterwards and apologizing. I don’t know what my deal is.

Why can’t I get these simple moves I should know?
Why do I so overwhelmingly feel like I’m so far behind on where I should be?
Why does it feel so impossible?

I found myself actually considering quitting.
Why not?
Life is insane and all over the place.
I can’t be everything to everyone as it is.
Worst part is, I don’t want to be. I’m so much happier when I’m not. But then I feel so guilty, I don’t know what to do about it.

I just want to dance.
I want to commit.
I don’t want everything else getting in the way.
I want to dance and take pictures.
And be happy.

Not that the rest of my life is bad, because it’s not.
But I just want to do this…

Why does it feel like even though I’ve done everything “right” in life (the way I was told to, I don’t do “bad” things. I did everything i’m supposed to) I seem to be the most out of place. It seems like everyone who did these wrong things that I was seemingly wise enough to avoid are the ones that have found themselves in the place we’re supposed to be through them.

Where did I go wrong?
What the heck am I supposed to do?

I feel numb today. Seriously, like my left leg is fake and my mind isn’t me.
I just hope this goes away soon.

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