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Emilee

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I just posted a super difficult blog post that I’ve been trying to write for a few months. I also thought about waiting until the summer to post it, but feel that now is the best time. The details are there, but essentially this is my last year teaching. I also won’t be active on this account anymore. It’ll remain live, as will my blog, but I won’t be checking in on it. This has been an extremely difficult decision to have to come to, but it’s one I can’t avoid anymore. If you’d like to keep up with me, please feel free to follow my personal account @emileeayers or my poetry account @forthestranger (or my “nerd” account if you’re into that, @thenerdjacket ) I love y’all so much and am super grateful for the friends I’ve made over the years through ballet. Super proud of y’all and everything you’re accomplishing every day. (Thanks to Mrs Gigi for this picture from nutcracker this year. It’s super special to me.)
I’ll have a proper post after the trip when I can blog. I’m the meantime, please enjoy this photo of @ballerinakay that I am properly obsessed with. ❤️
Two years ago today, I met @allie_on_pointe in person! In NINE DAYS we’re going to London together! I truly cherish the friends being in the dance world as an adult has given me. ❤️
Caught the train, heading back to hogwarts. See you witches (and wizards) there!
The dance season started up this week! My classes started today, and I wrote a blog post about it. Now I’m gonna go sleep. Link in bio
I was at a Harry Potter convention this weekend with my best friend and had an unexpected ballet encounter. I wrote about it if that’s your sort of thing. Link in the bio. 💛🖤

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My first fall.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it happened.
I had my first fall from pointe.

It happened during floor work. I’m behind everyone else as it is, but I’m doing the best I can. Thank God my teacher is really understanding and doesn’t make me feel pressured or rushed. Better to do it right.
We were going from the left side doing a pique to front attitude. I don’t even know how it happened but I ended up on my butt.
My reaction?
I burst into laughter.
After the fact, I always laugh at myself in how I’m disappointed no one is laughing with me. But, they’re my friends. And I just fell off my pointe shoe. Why would they laugh? Duh, Emilee. I guess laughing is my automatic response.
I got right back up after laughing and tried it again. I didn’t even think about being afraid until I noticed Jilissa’s concern and direct attention to my next move. This is when I became surprised in myself.
I’m always afraid. I’m always concerned. I always feel things deeply and take them to heart and take a while to shake them. But this time, I just got right back up and kept going.
I guess I’m finally growing up, eh?
When I noticed, I was grateful for Jilissa’s careful concern. It made me feel like trying again was safe; and it was. I always thought my left was my stronger side, but I guess on pointe it’s my right. She even complimented my roll down off pointe on the right side. The car wreck affected my left leg, but in turn I had more issues on my right. I guess with putting all the pressure and over-hyper extending it while over compensating for the injury to the left, it ended up affecting the right more. The right is the one I had to go to physical therapy for.
Well. I guess it worked.

I want to work harder. I want to improve. I want to become stronger and more stable and perfect the craft. And then I want to learn more and perfect that.
I want to dance as often as I can for as long as I can.
Life is to short to sit it out.

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