shows – Another Night at the Barre

Swan Lake 2.0

Had you asked me on Wednesday if I was excited about Swan Lake, I would have said no.

I would have been thinking how i’m rethinking if I should have agreed to be a part at all, if I should have told my family to come, uncertain if I would regret any and everything that doesn’t involve behind the scenes stuff.

I love being on stage, I love being part of productions, I miss all of this so much. But with Swan Lake, there was so much riding on it. We did this show 8 years ago—I was a swan cover, an “ugly duckling” as we called ourselves—and I had high hopes of making this show the redemption arc I never expected.

Here we are, Swan Lake 2024 officially behind us, i’m laying in my bed with my feet up and I can officially said, it was everything I dared to hope it could be.

I definitely didn’t feel confident going into theater week. I still was so unsure of what I was doing, which made me anxious. I had yet to do it correctly and knew the Prince would be here and he probably would be relying on me for guidance on the acting bits. How could I teach him something I didn’t know myself?

Plus, there was a smidge of anxiety for a few things office-wise that I couldn’t predict in how they would go. Ads make me so nervous, but thankfully I haven’t heard of any being incorrect or missing. (I haven’t checked the emails, but still.) i’m hoping each show that goes well, the anxiety will lessen a little and i’ll feel more confident than afraid.

We rehearsed Thursday for the school show, which is a shortened version—Acts 3 & 4. Act 3 was the one I was most nervous about coming out of studio rehearsals since I couldn’t seem to get the faint correct. Thankfully, having The Prince there seemed to do the trick. I messed up one bit, but we were able to figure it out and once I fixed it, the school show went off without a hitch. Friday I was daring to start to feel a smidge of confidence. After the school show, I went out to find a school that had a backstage tour and got caught by a bunch of kids filing out of the auditorium. I guess i’m so used to being a party mom where the kids hardly register you even existed on stage, so when they all were absolutely enamored by my presence, my cold dead heart started to melt. they all wanted hugs, high fives, and pictures. They told me I did great, told me my costume was pretty, that I looked beautiful. I allowed myself to listen to and accept these compliments instead of listening to the doubt that’s been plaguing my thoughts for weeks. (my therapist would be proud. shout out, Dr Barnes!) Kids are honest—they wouldn’t say those words, have those reactions, if they didn’t mean it. I chose to believe them and dare to hope.

Saturday I was nervous because my family was coming. my parents have never seen me as party mom, i’ve never asked them to come, but I asked them for this since it was a substantial acting part. I wanted to do it justice, but I was still nervous I would forget something or mess up the timing. I kept a cheat sheet on me that had notes for both of the acts I was in so I could reference before I went on stage.

By today, the reference sheet was more a superstition than a necessity. John (the prince) and I had it down and both felt confident, and I was able to visualize everything I was supposed to do in my head without referencing the cheat sheet. Because of that, I was able to really get into it and allow myself to be confident in what I was doing. As the rehearsals carried on, I recognized the corrections I was getting sounded like they were due to a lack of confidence. I see it in dancers I work with—they have the skills, and what they do is good enough, but if they could just have that bit of confidence in themselves and their training, it would take it to the next level. I decided to take my own advice.

My brain is still a bit mush, so all of this is way out of order, but i’m going to reference some of the little moments I want to remember; the little things that really stuck with me and helped make this whole show and experience one worth remembering.

First off, on Saturday I was talking with Mrs Alex and Ms Munro about some semi-serious issue we were trying to resolve. As I went to text the person who was being the voice box for us with it, I noticed a text from my friend Kelly. it said, “SOGNED CDS LIMIT 1 PER”.

Mid conversation, I instantly went to Taylor Swift’s website and clicked the merch store. Kelly, as well as another friend (also named Kelly), was keeping an eye out for signed stuff and offered to get me one since she knew my weekend would be extremely busy. the fact she text me, and I happened to see it right away, wasn’t on stage, wasn’t consoling a dancer or doing something business-y that couldn’t be interrupted was a stroke of luck. I got it in my cart, fought the captcha, and managed to secure the signed cd. Ms Munro asked if I sent the text and I said, “one second, taylor swift is releasing signed cds” and they just said, “okay!” and waited. I love where I work, lemme tell ya. I got the goods, text the person I needed to text, and all was right in the world.

Also, that morning I managed to get my fake eyelashes on perfectly first try. this never happens! it felt like a good omen of sorts. Follow that up with scoring the signed stuff—I was really starting to feel good.

Saturday’s rehearsal went well and seemed to iron out all the wrinkles in everything. I didn’t give the flowers too early, we filled all of our time well, everything seemed to be falling into place. Mix that with the high I was riding from school show when I went off stage after act 3 and Ms Munro said, “that was great!” I about fainted for real. Aloria heard it, so I know it wasn’t a figment of my imagination, and I told her to put it on my tombstone. Also, I found it super stinking cute that when Ms Munro gave me a correction at rehearsals, she wouldn’t call out my role, she’d say, “Queenie”. I would love for this to stick.

Throughout all of this, the sweet Villagers really made it for me. There’s about 60 of them in total, ranging in age from 8-14 years old. I absolutely loved that they would come up to me backstage, curtsy, and say something like, “your majesty” while giggling. It absolutely made me feel way more at ease about it all having them all there, believing in me and cheering me on. Kids whose names i’m not even sure of (and I try really hard to know all their names) would come up and hug me every time they saw me. It felt so good to have all of that. Plus, when I came on stage, it translated and made it super fun to interact with them all as I entered and exited stage. This is the next generation. This is the next group I get to watch grow up, and i’m excited for it.

Today’s show, especially, we were all backstage before curtain call taking pictures with each other. It was so sweet to see the girls getting pictures together, seeing the groups ebb and flow and people be included. It made me feel way cooler than I have any right to feel when they’d ask me to be in pictures with them. I’ve watched these girls grow up and am so proud of them; to have them want me in their memories too? I’m not worthy!

They’ve also been some of my biggest supporters, which has been so rewarding. Having them believe in me helped me to believe in myself, which is a gift.

This year was also a big year for graduating dancers. One of our biggest groups to date are either graduating or in college but not coming back for one (valid) reason or another. I tried not to think too much about it—denial, I guess—but at the end of the show today, it hit.

Some of these girls have been dancing in shows since my first one ten years ago. i’ve watched them grow up from tiny little villagers themselves, now to soloists, constant figures in my memories. Some of them were my party girls, some were my assistants when I taught classes, even. Most of my dance memories include them to some degree. It’s an odd thing, having come into dance as an adult and realizing something that I knew was true but hits different this year—this is these dancer’s childhoods. I’ve been here, a spectator, watching them learn and grow and become such wonderful people—what a privilege! It’s not the first group of girls i’ve danced with that have graduated, but it feels different now. These aren’t just my “peers”, kids I dance alongside. These kids feel like my nieces, like family, constants, and now they’re all going off in different directions to figure out who they are and what life has to offer them. To say i’m proud of them truly is an understatement. They have been delights to have every week, and seeing how much they’ve grown as people as well as dancers…it’s been my honor. (and yall better come see me when you’re in town or else i’ll riot. and i’m the queen. so like. what I say goes.)

(but for real, I love yall to bits and am so proud of each of you.)

My favorite part of being the Queen was getting to sit on the throne the entire act 3. I swear, i’m spoiled now; having the best seat in the house at the front of the stage, watching my friends dance so well, making eye contact, whispering encouraging words when I could, getting to give my honest facial reactions because it’s part of being a character actor, making eye contact occasionally—I smiled so hard my cheeks hurt. I only wish I could have taken pictures while sitting there. The moments I got to witness are precious to me. So many triumphs.

While sitting there, Von Rothbart would be next to me at times. we would make casual, in character conversation, the funniest of which is a joke none of us can remember. I made some off handed remark that made James laugh so hard, but he had to stay in character with a serious straight face, which of course made it funnier. We had such a good time, Sean and I joking about “trade relations” or whatever other jokes we could make throughout. it was so much fun.

I also appreciated John Mingle, our prince. He is such a professional which made everything go so smoothly this weekend. People would compliment me on my acting, but honestly I was able to do what did because he gave me so much to work with. It was easy for me to pretend my son was going through everything the prince goes through when he’s showing me the pain in his face as Odile betrays him. This goes for so many of the dancers as well. Both of our Odile’s are great actresses, which made interacting with them come easy. Mix that in with the Court Ladies and all the dancers from the different countries acting and reacting—it made my job easier, and more fun!

I was super grateful to be in a dressing room with some of my favorite people. One of them I knew before Swan Lake but the other two I met because of the show. it was so refreshing and encouraging to know that I would be around those lovely women who were kind, helpful, hilarious, and would check in on me to make sure I wasn’t overdoing anything. To know that room was a safe place no matter what happened this weekend was a gift. I could be my weird, morbid, exhausted, unfiltered self and it was just fine. I cherish them so deeply.

I was also so happy to see who came out to the show. Saturday, my sweet Alexis came and found me in the dressing room. I was so moved by this. so often you dance with these girls, spend so much time with them, then they go off to become their own adults and you never see them. sometimes they’ll come back to watch a show, but if so I rarely get to see them. When I do, it’s so incredibly special. The fact she sought me out specifically? I became a puddle. Alexis is a gem; i’m so proud of the person she is and love all the experiences we’ve gotten to have throughout dance. She was one of my first little ones to grow up and fly and i live in awe of her every day. My heart is so happy.

I also got to see Krystal, who was the Queen when we did Swan Lake in 2016. It was her shows that I watched the recordings of to figure out what the heck I was supposed to be doing. I was so grateful for them because she did such a great job it made it easy for me to try to copy and emulate. If anything, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to do it justice. When I saw her she told me how hard it was for her because she felt like she didn’t know what she was doing; that she was told that she was doing it wrong but no one could tell her how to do it right. I was so glad to hear this, because I felt the same, but when watching her she looked so regal I found myself wondering how in the world she managed to do it and if they gave her exact directions. She looked to confident. To know she felt everything I did in the lead up was so extremely helpful. i’m grateful.

I also got to see my family, former dancers Grace and Jasmine, Alexis and her mom, another mom i’m not supposed to admit because her daughter would be so mad she went without her, my sweet co worker Joanna, my quilting friends Robin, R2, and Bryan, as well as so many sweet dance friends and former students. it made me so happy.

i’m also so grateful to have Elizabeth and Chrisi. Elizabeth was Odette and Chrisi was Odile on Sunday and for school show. Last time we did Swan Lake, Elizabeth was a huge support for me in my disappointment with it all. I ended up going in as a swan when someone got hurt and was so thrilled that I got to dance a scene with Elizabeth. Now that I was the Queen, it was so rewarding having Elizabeth there to celebrate with me, knowing how much this full circle meant for me. I cherish her. I was also so thrilled because Chrisi came to us after I had to stop dancing, and I was so sad to not have had a scene with her properly. With this show, we had an entire act—and one that played to both of our strengths. We both had the same Theater Director, the legend Charlotte Brown, and for both of us to get to flex our acting chops in the same scene was so rewarding. I was so grateful to have this completion of dancing in scenes with my friends, an opportunity I may not have had otherwise.

What a wonderful experience to have, living this life. I never would have guessed 8 years ago that I would have the opportunity to be in Swan Lake again—I never expected to be in it the first time! and this show specifically since the day after the show ended in 2016 was the day I woke up and have never felt the same since. That show weekend was my last weekend as a “normal” human, as far as health goes. Two years later I was pricing wheelchairs, giving up teaching, figuring out how to give up this thing I loved, that i’d fought so hard for, that i’d struggled to find my place in. Now, here I am, working here, surrounded by ballet, completely immersed in it, finding such fulfillment in being a part of this world I so dearly love.

These kids will grow up, and more with come in as tiny little things, wearing the costumes they wore, learning the steps they knew, and i’ll get to watch them grow up, too. and getting to be a part of that is a privilege I hope to never take for granted.

had to add on these fantastic pictures Lola got on a digital camera. because, ya know, kids these days love the vintage feel of a digital camera. and now I feel 87.

I’m just so happy yall.

If you know me, you know i’m prone to reflection.

If you’ve been here a while (or just found me recently and have found yourself down a rabbit hole), you’ll know about my experiences with Swan Lake the last time the Corpus Christi Ballet performed it back in 2016.

Eight years ago, I was in a much different place in life. It was my first tax season at my new job for a CPA office after having been fired from my last job (long story), I was newly sans gallbladder but didn’t know about the medication to help all the post surgery complications, and I was in my second season with my new studio and company after my first ballet studio closed down and in the middle of my fourth year of ballet, still trying to find where I fit.

It seemed as soon as I felt I may have figured it out, a wrench was thrown at me; I finally get the boldness to sign up for ballet classes and I get injured in a car wreck and have to miss the rest of the month of classes. I finally am able to take classes and start to feel comfortable at the studio and it closes. I find a new studio and start to get comfortable and then get too sick to dance.

Swan Lake was the show that marks a pivotal moment in my life. The mix of the stress of my first tax season (with no formal training) with the intensity of the ballet while also hardly being able to eat because of post surgery issues made a perfect cocktail of stress in my body. I woke up the day after shows unable to get out of bed. I took the first sick day i’ve ever taken in my adult life and have not been the same since.

The memories of that show are mixed, but isn’t that how life goes? Perfection doesn’t exist. Life hands us the cards it does and we’re left to play the cards we’re dealt. It’s up to us if we decide to let the negative parts determine everything, or if we choose to see the positives and make the most of it all.

Last go around, I was cast as a swan cover. I was disappointed as I so desperately wanted to be cast with my friends and be such an iconic role—an opportunity I never expected in the first place. I wanted to prove to them and to myself that I was good enough to dance in the corps de ballet. I fell short, but I worked hard and showed up and made the most of it. The five of us covers banded together to still enjoy ourselves, calling ourselves the Ugly Ducklings in jest, learning the parts all the different ways just in case. Three out of the five of us ended up going in the week of shows as injuries happened. It was extremely rewarding to work so hard not knowing if we’d get to perform it, and be able to blend seamlessly when the opportunity arose.

Emilee then never could have guessed life would turn out how it did. Emilee then was terrified of what her body was doing to her and the things she felt she couldn’t control. Ballet was the one thing in the world she desperately wanted, and she was trying to find where she fit in a world where adult ballet dancers weren’t really a thing. We were blazing trails 💁🏼‍♀️. Hah. But seriously, trying to find where I belonged where I was dancing with 14 year olds, but the same age as the principal dancers was a weird dynamic to navigate.

I couldn’t have landed in a better place. i’ve never once not been welcomed or made to feel like I wasn’t wanted. The girls befriended me, the principal dancers took me in, I made friends.

By the next year my world had come crashing down as my body started betraying me slowly but surely, leading to me having to quit; dance, my job, everything.

Eight years ago me never could have guessed life would take the turns it did.

Eight years ago me would be thrilled.

Now, I work for the Company that took me in. I’m surrounded by dancers of whom many have become my chosen family. Now, i’m not only in Swan Lake again, but i’m cast as the Queen. The principal dancers are still my friends and somehow the corpse de ballet dancers still think i’m cool and laugh at my jokes (thanks for that, Brooke 😉). I go to the studio happy as a clam. The fact I even still get to go to the studio is a gift I hope I never take for granted; sweet former students running into my office as soon as they come in the door to wrap their arms around my neck and hug me so tight. I hear about their lives, am asked to watch them and give corrections, get to pour into their lives and fill my heart lighten in the process.

I look back over all the years of uncertainty, when I had no idea where I belonged, when I was looking at the expiration date of the one thing i’d always wanted and never wanted to give up, and i’m just so grateful. I feel like these posts have become much the same, but i’m just so happy to know that all the difficulties, all the nights of uncertainty, all the fear was short lived. That the place I’ve ended up is back in the place where my soul feels most alive, surrounded by people who fill my life with joy.

The kids who were the tiny nuggets last time are the graduating seniors this time. One, Swan Lake in 2016 was her first spring show, and this time is her last before she goes off to college. Talk about full circle!

I’m so proud to see how they’ve grown, so honored to be a part of it, and just so happy for where my life has taken me.

Back in 2011 when I made the decision to follow this silly little dream i’d always held, people made fun of me. They criticized me, told me I was wasting my time and money, that nothing would come of it, that I needed to stop dancing and start thinking seriously about my future.

Joke’s on them.

My first Queen rehearsal is tomorrow. I’m so dang excited for how fun this is going to be.

Swan Lake cast list, 2024

it’s been a minute, not because I have nothing to say but because I can’t seem to find the words to say it.

Nutcracker 2023 was difficult, for many reasons. it had some beautiful moments—finally having some of my former students as party girls, spending time with the older girls, feeling loved and supported, and much more besides. Even still, I can’t bring myself to make an entire post about it. It’s too difficult. There’s too many things I just can’t say.

Spring show, thankfully, has already been a vast improvement. What’s more, it’s a show I was in before. If you’ve been around a bit, you’ll remember my experiences with Swan Lake in 2016; how I was cast as a cover for swans, the disappointment, the endurance, the chance to perform it after someone got injured week of. I haven’t re read my posts from then, so I’m unsure what all I spoke of, but I remember also being really sick then. The day after shows ended was the day I woke up and have never been the same. I was hardly eating because I couldn’t keep anything down (before I knew about the medication i’m on now), everything was complicated and difficult and I felt I had half a brain. Following that was when I was my most sick—had to stop dancing, had to quit my job, had a handicap parking placard, didn’t have enough energy to walk a grocery store, was looking at wheelchairs—and now, after all the work and effort, I have a quality of life that’s different than I had before I woke up that morning after shows but is better than I thought would be possible to have again.

Last time, the group of us five covers called ourselves the “Ugly Ducklings” because we wanted to be swans. It was our way of making light of our disappointment so we could make the most of it, to band together and feel we had something to be a part of, camaraderie.

This time, I got cast as the Queen.

It feels like a full circle moment I never could have guessed would ever be possible. Not after how sick I got, not after everything I lost and had to give up, not after everything i’ve been through in the last eight years.

I went from staring at the reality of giving up every connection I had to ballet, having to stop dancing, stop teaching, and making the decision to not be in Nutcracker or teach privates anymore to now I work for the Ballet and am the Queen in the show that was one of the biggest turning points in my story not only as a dancer but entirely.

Our company has grown substantially in the last eight years. I’d be hard pressed to find a dancer who knows majority of the people I talk about when I mentioned dancers from the last time we did the show, the exception being the college aged dancers who were villagers old enough to know some of the girls, and the one who had a sister in that group I danced with.

It’s a unique position i’ve found myself in—the shift from peer to employee. I know these girls dancing, watched them grow up. We chat and laugh and sometimes cry, but it’s not like before. Most of these girls didn’t know me as a corps dancer. Heck, last week some of them were taking bets on how old they thought I was, and they were off by ten years.

But truly, this unique position is one of my greatest joys in my life, getting to know these girls, talk with them, hear their experiences, see their split second death glares when I catch their eye walking by knowing they’re doing their best to have a good attitude about whatever it is they aren’t a fan of happening in the moment—a truly universal experience. I love hearing about their hopes and their dreams, I love answering their questions, hearing their theories, or comparing stories about what they remember from when they were younger, many of them having their first spring show experience be my last.

Last time, the cast list came out and I cried, utterly disappointed and feeling like I failed myself, processing those emotions and doing my best to do the best I could anyway. This time, the cast list came out and these sweet girls text and messaged and posted various congratulations from telling me it was perfectly fitting to saying they will only refer to me as “you’re majesty” from now on.

It makes me feel so good to have the support of these sweet souls, especially in this show.

It makes me reflect back on the last 12.5 years of my dancing experience, 9.5 of those years being at this studio. Remembering how I felt I didn’t really have a place where I belonged—dancing ballet as an adult was still a pretty unheard of thing then, at least in this capacity. Friends I made through my instagram account were some of the first in the adult ballet community on social media, and now it’s coming up on my FYP left and right. We were the trailblazers in a weird time of the growth and shift in social media to be more accessible and able to get our stories out there faster. I’ve made some of my greatest friends through this little dream I had to one day have the pointe shoes little Emilee always dreamed of having. I’ve accomplished things I never even dared to dream of accomplishing, dancing with a pre professional company, and now working for that same company. I get to continue on this path in ways I never could have imagined to even hope for, all because I dared to try a thing i’d always dreamed of doing just because i’d always wanted to.

i’m surrounded by people who love me every time I step foot in to that building, i’m supported in the things I do, i’m encouraged to keep the boundaries I need to make sure I remain the healthiest version of myself possible. i’m so behind grateful.

Rehearsals began last week, and they’re already looking really great. There’s of course much to learn and perfect, but these girls have risen in ways i’m so proud to see.

While trying to better organize my house today, I found the notebook I used to keep in my dance bag, complete with notes of the part I had to learn when I was put in as a swan after a dancer got injured theater week. It was a different section than the one i’d been covering in rehearsals, not necessarily difficult, just one I wasn’t used to and I wanted to make sure I was my best for it. Seeing the video during rehearsals, i’m pleased to say I blend right in to the corps, only able to be picked out since I was the tallest. I’m proud of 8-years-ago me, proud of her tenacity, her ability to honor her emotions but also to push through them and make the most of the situation, and the reward in getting to do the thing i’d been working so hard for.

I’m proud of current me, working for a ballet company I love so dearly, getting another chance to be involved in this ballet in a way that makes my heart swell to think about.

I’m so grateful for this full circle experience, to bring even more joy to my memories of this ballet, and to have these girls a part of it.

messy, scattered notes from when I was put in as a swan the week of shows.

Cinderella 2023

Now that I’ve had a few days to pretend like I’m recovering, I’m finally sitting down to type up the blog post for Cinderella.

We had one weekend of shows; a school show on Friday, an evening show on Saturday, and a matinee on Sunday with rehearsals at the theater peppered between.

There were many bits that were exhausting and overwhelming, but all things considered this show went substantially better than Nutcracker did this past December. Maybe because I’m more confident in what I’m doing, maybe because the cast is smaller, maybe because it’s only one weekend, maybe a combination of these things and others–who knows. All I know is I’m grateful.

I’m also extremely grateful for the dance parents who have been absolutely phenomenal in giving of their time and energy to help make this show run smoothly. I can guarantee that their efforts contributed to how smoothly these shows went, and how much less stressful it was for me personally. They’re rock stars and my gratitude knows no bounds.

These rehearsals were long, and many of the dancers are young and not used to it, yet they handled it with grace and endurance. Much of the time they ended up being released early, but even then it wasn’t something we could know until rehearsals got started and we knew what areas needed work and which looked good.

I was a “Wig Maker” in the show, helping one of the Step-sisters in the Dressing Scene by putting the wig on after two other dancers got her ball gown on. Roles like this are really fun for me as you get the opportunity to really make the role your own. With one of the step-sisters, we brainstormed little bits we could do to make it funnier, like getting giant tweezers and “tweezing her face” as well as filing her nails and such. I also brought a giant feather I had to act as a quill a la Lady Whistledown from Bridgerton. The whole scene lasted maybe three minutes or so, and they decided to let us bow at the end. This took me by surprise, as usually first act scenes don’t bow at the end of second act, especially a little bit part like this, but I can see why, given that if we didn’t we would literally be the only ones in the show not bowing.

I called my costume, affectionate, “The Potato” as it was this big brown thing. Mrs. Jane made me a really great bonnet to go with it and, coming in clutch, her husband Jim made me way better “tools” to use for the face plucking and nail filing. What I had before were long and sharp. How literally none of us recognized the danger these things posed is beyond me, but Mrs. Jane saved the day and have Mr. Jim make me big sparkly props that were absolutely fantastic–and in two hours, no less. I kept them, and am quite fond of them. Their entire family really means a lot to me, making sure I’m taken care of and informed, even walking me to my car after late shows since they know I’m alone. Little things that add up to a whole lot.

While I’m quite proud of the dancers as a whole, for their various personal triumphs and accomplishments, there’s two in particular I want to write about.

There were two sets of Step-sisters, the Saturday night set being a set of our Principal dancers, and the Sunday set being two of our soloists.

Jessica, in the green dress (the one I wigged up,) is a fellow adult ballerina, though she didn’t begin as an adult. She’s built her way up and when she and her husband moved to Corpus, she joined us here at CCB. I first met her last year when I wore a University of Kansas jacket and she came up and said, “Rock, Chalk, Jayhawk?” and I excitedly exclaimed, “Rock, Chalk, Jayhawk!” We’ve been friends ever since.

Last year I watched as she danced roles with some of the high school girls, having the best attitude and outlook on it all, lighting up the stage with her presence. I can’t even remember what her Nutcracker roles were, as some of the high school girls were no doubt cast above her, but when the cast list came out for Cinderella, I saw her name as a step sister and said, “oh, PERFECT.” Because it is. Casting Jessica as a step sister is absolutely perfect, which was only further confirmed with each rehearsal. The comedy she brought to the role often had me forgetting to go back to the office when I popped into the studio for something or another, instead being drawn in by her performance. So often in ballet, beautiful and talented dancers can end up overlooked for one reason or another, usually nothing personal though it can feel deeply as such, and seeing that happen can be really disheartening, let alone feeling it. But seeing Jessica completely nail this role so perfectly was extremely rewarding. She and Kaelin played off each other so well and you could tell they were having so much fun.

Speaking of Kaelin, she’s the other one I want to write about in this post. The step sister with the orange dress, she and I didn’t interact in our small scene, other than a quick glance in character, but watching her had me absolutely beaming with pride.

Kaelin was one of the little nuggets when I first started dancing at Munro. I remember waiting for my classes and peeking in through the window to watch their level II’s class when they first barely got their pointe shoes. She was a villager my first Spring show in Wizard of Oz and it was quickly evident what a delight she was (and is.) I watched as Kaelin looked up to the “big girls” as she danced, watched her recital dances through the years, watched her be called up as a back up understudy in my last role in which I was an understudy put in the very first rehearsal, watched her take on the roles I did, and watched as she surpassed my skillset. I watched her do Dew Drop on an injury, trying to find the tricky balance between enduring while risking further injury and taking a step back for recovery. Having the injury so close to shows, she endured, and thankfully the risk was worth it. And now I had the extreme honor of watching her take the challenge of such an advanced role, shared with one of our top Principal dancers, and completely rock it, making it look easy, even. I watched the little dancers watch her, one of the “big girls,” and see how their faces glow as she acknowledges them, some of them her students, others not. I heard their whispers of how cool they think she is and saw them trying to do the moves she did in the aisles.

When you have a young group of dancers, you have thoughts about what these kids could grow to be. You see their skills and drive, or lack thereof, and can sometimes guess which ones will continue on and which ones won’t. Kaelin has always had the drive, and she’s honed her skills over the years by paying attention and making the most of every opportunity. She’s not a kid anyone would have expected to just be handed these things, but worked her way up through the ranks, a normal dancer who had the endurance and self discipline to keep going, and now she gets to reap the rewards of her hard work. It’s been an absolute joy watching her as a step sister, and also seeing her as the Fairy Godmother during school shows, and even stepping up to cover Lead Star when Haeleigh hurt her foot the week of shows while working on recital in class. (:( my heart is sad for Haeleigh.) She has risen to the occasion and I couldn’t be more proud.

There’s loads of dancers I’m proud of who have taken great responsibility and really risen up this show, and some who have endured some really difficult things, dancing while their heart is breaking. I wish I could do more to reward them for their efforts.

After school show, we brought back a school whose teacher used to dance with us. It was so much fun seeing their reactions to the costumes and backdrops and props up close, and even more fun seeing Chrisi, our Cinderella that show who also knew Holly, the teacher, talk the kids through what it takes to make a production happen. Their eyes filled with wonder and Chrisi’s gentle instruction was a joy to behold, some of our dancers even being entranced by her explaining how she prepares her shoes to dance. The whole scene was so magical and heartwarming.

On Sunday, we had a big thunderstorm roll through, causing some localized flooding and the power to flicker before shows started. We were all on pins and needles, unsure of what might actually happen during the show and hoping against all hope the power would stay on and the audience would still show up. Thankfully, we didn’t have the orchestra, as the basement definitely flooded, and the power stayed on past the one flicker about an hour before curtain.

On Saturday, one of my favorite stories I’ll tell forever occurred.

James, who was our Step Mother, had his dressing room on the same floor as the stage. Around the corner, in fact. Somehow, the lock engaged on the handle, making him unable to get inside his dressing room after the ball scene to change back into his regular dress. We asked security if they could get someone to unlock it. They tracked down the lady with the keys and she came to unlock it, but didn’t have the correct keys. I asked James what he would do, and he had me hook his dress back up and said, “I’ll just make it work” in such a calm and composed manner. A true professional. I told him I’d wait for her to come back and bring his dress over. His cue, of course, was on the other side of the stage, and I had absolutely zero clue when he went back on, but tried not to worry about it. The lady got back and, about four or five tries later, got the right key and opened it. I thanked her, grabbed the dress, and looked around for anything else, spotting his wig/headpiece combo and grabbing it as well. Then, I ran, waving the wig so he’d see me coming, trying not to clomp backstage as I was in my character shoes. Tim, a hairdresser who was also the Head Wig Maker in the production (among other things) got his dress unhooked. James stepped into the costume, I shoved in his petticoat as Tim started working on switching out the wigs and headpieces. I got James’s skirt hooked and tried to start on the dress, my hands shaking, when someone behind me said, “start at the top!” And thankfully they did, my brain spaced and I hadn’t even thought of that. I told James I would keep going until his cue. Joe, our stage manager, came over with a flashlight and I went as fast as I could, taking about two tries on each of these bajillion hooks and eyes, feeling more hopeful with each one. As I got the last one fastened, I let James know I was done, and literally without a second to spare, he walked on in perfect timing for his cue. I looked at Tim, and said something like, “did we just pull that off?” then doubled over as the adrenaline coursed through my body.

I couldn’t recreate that if I tried. Had I stopped long enough to doubt or wonder if I’d have enough time, had I not ran, had she not had the right keys the second time, had I forgotten the headpiece–any of it and I’m sure loads more–it wouldn’t have worked, yet James sauntered on as if nothing happened out of the ordinary and the audience was none the wiser.

I have no doubt had James gone on in his ball dress he would have made it work, but I’m glad we were able to pull it off.

…and I just answered the phone at my courthouse job as “Corpus Christi Ballet,” so on that note, I’m gonna leave you with pictures and sign off. Please note, we got a good laugh at my mix-up.

	Emilee on Learning to Read (Music)
	JL on Learning to Read (Music)
	Emilee on Swan Lake cast list, 2024
	fizzielou on Swan Lake cast list, 2024
	Jody on Recital 2023