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Emilee

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I just posted a super difficult blog post that I’ve been trying to write for a few months. I also thought about waiting until the summer to post it, but feel that now is the best time. The details are there, but essentially this is my last year teaching. I also won’t be active on this account anymore. It’ll remain live, as will my blog, but I won’t be checking in on it. This has been an extremely difficult decision to have to come to, but it’s one I can’t avoid anymore. If you’d like to keep up with me, please feel free to follow my personal account @emileeayers or my poetry account @forthestranger (or my “nerd” account if you’re into that, @thenerdjacket ) I love y’all so much and am super grateful for the friends I’ve made over the years through ballet. Super proud of y’all and everything you’re accomplishing every day. (Thanks to Mrs Gigi for this picture from nutcracker this year. It’s super special to me.)
I’ll have a proper post after the trip when I can blog. I’m the meantime, please enjoy this photo of @ballerinakay that I am properly obsessed with. ❤️
Two years ago today, I met @allie_on_pointe in person! In NINE DAYS we’re going to London together! I truly cherish the friends being in the dance world as an adult has given me. ❤️
Caught the train, heading back to hogwarts. See you witches (and wizards) there!
The dance season started up this week! My classes started today, and I wrote a blog post about it. Now I’m gonna go sleep. Link in bio
I was at a Harry Potter convention this weekend with my best friend and had an unexpected ballet encounter. I wrote about it if that’s your sort of thing. Link in the bio. 💛🖤

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Keep going.

I can’t escape the fact that everything is going to be okay…
It’s just a matter of getting there.
That sometimes you have to let things get rough so that God can fully do what He wants to do. Like in Esther. If Haman hadn’t made the King make the decree to destroy the Jews, then the Jews wouldn’t have been able to overcome their enemies. They would have just been living in a tense state forever. But the Lord knew. And Esther and Mordecai were obedient. So it worked out beautifully.
I have to hold to this.
I have no other choice.
I gotta face my fears.
I have to keep waking up in the morning. 
Keep letting my feet hit the floor.
Keep facing the things I can’t stand.
Hold to the good.
Hold to the hope, even when it seems bleak.
I have to accept that things don’t make sense, and that’s okay.
That I don’t have to have the answers.
No matter how much I want to. How much I want all of this to be over, to be happy all the time, to not feel like I’m fighting.
This is difficult. 
But I must endure.
I can’t not…
I can’t afford not to…
So I’ll cry.
I’ll scream.
I’ll curl up into a pitiful ball.
I’ll eat ice cream when I want.
I’ll write.
I’ll ask questions that don’t have answers.
I’ll laugh and try my best to enjoy the good things I do have around me. 
I’ll dance. Every chance I get. 
I’ll pray. 
Every breath laced with communication to God.
I’ll remember to breathe
But hold my breath when I need to.
When I feel I need to reset.
I’ll do all I can to make it through.
I’ll keep going.
Breakthrough has to come eventually.
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