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My front facing camera broke on my phone, making my already limited picture taking even MORE limited. Have a throw back from last spring. I have a blog post in the works. Life has been kinda nutty, my laptop *also* bit the dirt, and things have been kind of overwhelming. Y’all are always on my mind, though! You’ll be hearing from me soon. 💕
Classes yesterday brought to you in part by @leakycon (I don’t usually dress up for costume week, but i do try and incorporate Harry Potter to some degree 🤷🏼‍♀️)
New blog post, link in bio!
My friend Bailey and her company @companythreesixty made this and I have no more words to add. It’s perfect. #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ Why didn’t I report? I didn’t report because I thought that if I’m in a relationship with someone, it meant it was equally my fault. I thought the years of unhealthy feelings towards myself which ensued, were still invalid since it could have been worse. I thought I shouldn’t tell my Momma until a couple of years later on a beautiful mountain walk together, and even then, I softened the story from shame for how I’d appear to the person I love the most. I didn’t report because we live in a world where men use sentences like “it can always be worse” as psychological shrapnel. A world that tells us we should have done more to stop it. A world that, even when I remember the attempts to push away as clearly as consciousness cinema, I was scared to push too hard because I didn’t want to make someone mad. A world that makes me worry at sharing, because I have young students and ‘should be a role-model’: with a role model being pure, respectable, elite, undamaged. Now, a mother, wife, champion, boss... I still worry to report as innocuously as through a #WhyIDidntReport hashtag, lest I somehow appear less for having shared. But as someone who’s survived a darkness far worse than that described, and Shawshanked her way to a life of light- save for second glances over shoulders- I can say that the hardest person to report to is actually... yourself. It’s the you that you had once hoped to be. The you that you’ll never be again. The you that you wish you could go back and protect. The you you wish you had been (louder, less in shock, less weak). The you that once was but was taken. To all the Yous you once were reading this (and the You in me who still feels cemented by shame)... this should never have happened. It doesn’t matter how loud, quiet, forceful... how well you knew them.... You didn’t deserve to lose You because your body wasn’t left as yours. None of us do. None of us ever will. There is no good way to end this bit of writing, because the truth is: it hasn’t ended. A perfect sentence will not wrap this up. Y
Old picture, new post Link in bio
Teaching on my birthday is my favorite thing. Hi, I’m 30, and I gave full sized cupcakes to three year olds and I’m sure their parents hate me

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It takes dedication to see the difference.

My dance teacher has been gone here and there this summer.
In her place, sometimes we have Sarah T teach us.
I really love it when we get her as a sub, because she understands where we are and she has a great way of explaining things. Sometimes a different point of view can help substantially.

In these classes, she has taught me many things I have wanted to blog about, but I get so excited that I forget to remember them… It makes me really mad, because they are wonderful life lessons and she’s inadvertently showing me how to be a better person.
One thing that is undeniable is her dedication.
She is a living example that if you’re dedicated, you’ll see the difference.
She also takes us where we are, challenges us to push harder, but understands if there’s a reason we have to slow down. She doesn’t let you just sit in excuses, but gives you the balance when something may not be functioning as well.

I have a hard time with my circulation. I forget to breathe or don’t breathe correctly, and it affects my performance. I’m trying to build up my endurance, and have to start very small. Usually, this embarrasses me enough to avoid it, but I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to get serious. That’s gonna take doing new things, which I’m scared of.
Exposure, accountability, endurance.
These three things are happening, and I’m on my way to becoming the best me I have ever been.

Also, I’m being challenged to improve the things I already know how to do. To really get a taste of the difficulty ballet can pose. And I’m concurring. I’m improving and pushing through to be better.

I really appreciate Sarah and her way of life. It’s a great example to show me that it’s possible to do these things I desire.

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