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Emilee

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My front facing camera broke on my phone, making my already limited picture taking even MORE limited. Have a throw back from last spring. I have a blog post in the works. Life has been kinda nutty, my laptop *also* bit the dirt, and things have been kind of overwhelming. Y’all are always on my mind, though! You’ll be hearing from me soon. 💕
Classes yesterday brought to you in part by @leakycon (I don’t usually dress up for costume week, but i do try and incorporate Harry Potter to some degree 🤷🏼‍♀️)
New blog post, link in bio!
My friend Bailey and her company @companythreesixty made this and I have no more words to add. It’s perfect. #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ Why didn’t I report? I didn’t report because I thought that if I’m in a relationship with someone, it meant it was equally my fault. I thought the years of unhealthy feelings towards myself which ensued, were still invalid since it could have been worse. I thought I shouldn’t tell my Momma until a couple of years later on a beautiful mountain walk together, and even then, I softened the story from shame for how I’d appear to the person I love the most. I didn’t report because we live in a world where men use sentences like “it can always be worse” as psychological shrapnel. A world that tells us we should have done more to stop it. A world that, even when I remember the attempts to push away as clearly as consciousness cinema, I was scared to push too hard because I didn’t want to make someone mad. A world that makes me worry at sharing, because I have young students and ‘should be a role-model’: with a role model being pure, respectable, elite, undamaged. Now, a mother, wife, champion, boss... I still worry to report as innocuously as through a #WhyIDidntReport hashtag, lest I somehow appear less for having shared. But as someone who’s survived a darkness far worse than that described, and Shawshanked her way to a life of light- save for second glances over shoulders- I can say that the hardest person to report to is actually... yourself. It’s the you that you had once hoped to be. The you that you’ll never be again. The you that you wish you could go back and protect. The you you wish you had been (louder, less in shock, less weak). The you that once was but was taken. To all the Yous you once were reading this (and the You in me who still feels cemented by shame)... this should never have happened. It doesn’t matter how loud, quiet, forceful... how well you knew them.... You didn’t deserve to lose You because your body wasn’t left as yours. None of us do. None of us ever will. There is no good way to end this bit of writing, because the truth is: it hasn’t ended. A perfect sentence will not wrap this up. Y
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Teaching on my birthday is my favorite thing. Hi, I’m 30, and I gave full sized cupcakes to three year olds and I’m sure their parents hate me

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lately.

Yesterday was a pretty rough day for me health-wise.
I started feeling pretty sick, and wasn’t sure how I would be able to hold up in dance class.
Not gonna lie, I considered skipping.
But I love it so much that I figured I’d go, and if I had to take it easy or bow out early, I’d do that.
I’d rather do what I can than not try at all.

Jilissa is still out of town, so we had another sub.
I’m assuming by the turn out yesterday that Thursdays are going to be our slower days again.
Honestly, I’m okay with that.
It took me a little bit to endure through the icky feelings. My knee held up alright until pointe class, but the pain didn’t last long. Honestly, all the stretching and working of the muscles felt good.

We only had about ten people in the Beginner/Intermediate class, five in pointe, and only two of us in advanced. Granted, some of the dance staples were out of town, but even so some of them have a schedule conflict with Tap.

I was pretty excited that advanced was only two of us. And that the other one was Sarah Miller was better still. She’s better than me, but it’s still a level I can keep up with. I loved getting the exposure and being able to try new things. Also since there were only two of us, Christy was able to focus on us more and correct more things. We were able to fine tune and learn a months worth in one class.
I left there feeling like I could conquer anything. Like I can still succeed in class. Like all this work and effort is paying off.
I’m excited to see where this semester goes.

On Wednesday, I got a sneak peek of what the advertisement is going to look like for the dance festival the studio puts on. They used my pictures and it looks AWESOME.
I’m so excited 🙂

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