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Emilee

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Mischief Managed.
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. #leakycon #leakycon2018
Y’all, check out my friend Baileys announcement!! I’m so excited for her and super pumped to watch this series she’s a part of! #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ The concept is simple: follow someone’s journey from surgery to stage. Showing the life of a mucus mutant. Showing the life of a bilingual Deaf family. Showing the life of a dancer and @companythreesixty dancers. It technically hits all the hashtags: #spoonie #deaf #adultballerina #bodypositive #chronicillness. It hopefully connects with many communities and provides another voice in the chorus of those wanting representation in media abound. It is positive: a positive network with a positive focus wanting to counter the negative swarmy troll farm that is most modern media to date. But... what if the concept becomes a reality? What if I show not just the recovery from latest rounds of surgeries... but the pain and swelling and funk between? What if I don’t fulfill some sort of diagnostic paradigm being that I am an Atypical diagnosis (and someone who hopes not to be defined by that anyways where I can)? What if we capture not just the invigorating process of putting together a show with women I ferociously admire and protect... but also, how totally messy dance life can be? What if we showcase a family that’s equal parts Deaf as hearing... yet our variable mix of signing, reading lips, caption and speech isn’t in keeping with what the world wants from us? Choosing to share our story has come with a lot of IFs... but we are braving it none the less. Although I can’t believe our pilot episode premiered TODAY and that I can finally announce the news... fear of judgement subsists. Can perspective, positivity and living an imperfect life as openly as possible actually be of benefit? The verdict is still out... but I’m excited to try. I’m excited to see. And I’m excited to get started.▪️Click Link In Bio To Watch The Pilot Or Go To: onlygood.tv▪️#CatchingBreaths
The builders weren’t out today, so I decided to have one last hoorah in our still empty, hurricane Harvey-Ed house. They’ve finally begun repairs, and I’m super pumped for it to be fixed, but also a bit sad at the loss of the house as we knew it and how it was growing up. Here I’m in our game room, the red wall is my bathroom, and to the right is my old bedroom, where I was the night before the storm came. The bed I slept on had ceiling and insulation fallen on it the next day. Still pretty surreal almost a year out. TL;DR I love my new @sodancausa dance sneakers I got from @cinqdanceessentials ! Super pumped for the new year!
We had a guest teacher in class last night. I wrote a blog post about it! Link is in the bio. (Spoiler. It was wonderful.) Thank you so much, @linds779 for teaching us! (Ps. My shirt is from @balletlibrarian ‘s book Cantique, you can totally still get ya one. It’s my favorite, obviously.) PD: photo of me and Lindsi Dec from Pacific Northwest Ballet after class.
Once upon a time, my toes used to touch the floor.

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ramblings

I was really hopeful that I would be able to make it through the entire class yesterday, but alas:

Stupid ankle.
It’s not that it was necessarily hurting, but about 10 minutes in to barre, it started doing this weird thing where I could feel it grinding or crunching or however you want to describe it.
I have noticed this in my foot before, and it makes me hecka nervous.
I just want to dance, but I also don’t want to screw myself over by pushing through when I shouldn’t, instead of resting it while I still have the luxury of resting it. Pushing it now could be detrimental come Nutcracker.
I’m just really frustrated, because I was looking forward to class yesterday.

(see sad face)

I don’t want to lose all the strength I’ve gained and I don’t want to fall behind everyone else. That’s what happened last year; I was out with an injury then an organ removal (Dramatic sounding, I know.) and missed all those conditioning classes.
I need those classes. They’re what I’ve been looking forward to.
I’m trying not to let myself get all anxious. Especially with everything going on in life right now, it’d be easy to get lost in it. But I don’t have the luxury of succumbing to that right now. I have to keep it together.
So, I spent the class watching the other girls; trying to glean any bit of knowledge I can to help me better grasp everything in hopes that I’ll be better equipped when I can dance again.
Maybe it’s a good thing.
I have the pointe shoe fitting tomorrow have I mentioned how nervous I am? so maybe it’s a good thing my ankle didn’t let me get back into my old shoes. I’m hopeful they’ll be able to finally show me a shoe that fits.
Gah, I’m freakin’ Cinderella over here. Except, instead of taking a shoe all around to find the girl it fits, we’re taking the girl all around to find the shoe that fits.
Anyway. Hopefully my foot heals up before too long. I’m glad to have such a great class at such a supportive studio.
Our insurance guy at work called and when I answered he told me about his 4-year-old daughter starting ballet classes at my same studio. It made me happy.

I am thankful to have the chance to get pictures at my new studio. I haven’t pressed it too much since I’m still trying to get a feel for the place, but I’ll take any opportunity I can get.

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