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Emilee

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I just posted a super difficult blog post that I’ve been trying to write for a few months. I also thought about waiting until the summer to post it, but feel that now is the best time. The details are there, but essentially this is my last year teaching. I also won’t be active on this account anymore. It’ll remain live, as will my blog, but I won’t be checking in on it. This has been an extremely difficult decision to have to come to, but it’s one I can’t avoid anymore. If you’d like to keep up with me, please feel free to follow my personal account @emileeayers or my poetry account @forthestranger (or my “nerd” account if you’re into that, @thenerdjacket ) I love y’all so much and am super grateful for the friends I’ve made over the years through ballet. Super proud of y’all and everything you’re accomplishing every day. (Thanks to Mrs Gigi for this picture from nutcracker this year. It’s super special to me.)
I’ll have a proper post after the trip when I can blog. I’m the meantime, please enjoy this photo of @ballerinakay that I am properly obsessed with. ❤️
Two years ago today, I met @allie_on_pointe in person! In NINE DAYS we’re going to London together! I truly cherish the friends being in the dance world as an adult has given me. ❤️
Caught the train, heading back to hogwarts. See you witches (and wizards) there!
The dance season started up this week! My classes started today, and I wrote a blog post about it. Now I’m gonna go sleep. Link in bio
I was at a Harry Potter convention this weekend with my best friend and had an unexpected ballet encounter. I wrote about it if that’s your sort of thing. Link in the bio. 💛🖤

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The greatest thing a teach can shout at you in class after, “Good” “Great” or “Yes”

is, “Better”
Yesterday I was smacked in the face with my fears
Thankfully, I didn’t break down and freak out. Instead, my teacher helped me see what I was doing wrong and what to do to fix it to do the steps correctly. That’s what scared me. Correctly felt like a pending rolled ankle. 
But it will only be that if I get scared. If I go for the step confidently, then I’ll hit it. 
(I’ve also realized that my arches such in these shoes. No matter how hard I pointe in them, it doesn’t look like it. So. Gotta work on that. Anyway)
We were working on various things across the floor, which I was super grateful for. This is where I know I need work and to build up my confidence for it. Part of the combination was to do a pique passe preparation, then to do a chasse to prepare for a pirouette from 4th.
Yes, I thought, This is exactly what I need! 
And what did I do first time around?
sucked it up. 
I undershot and ended up just on demi. I couldn’t get all the way on to full releve. UGH.
So we did the left, lalala, whatever. I found myself flubbing up the combinations more than usual. This is probably due to my brain being fuzzy and my heart overwhelmed. Which I try to leave at home, but sometimes I can’t ignore it enough.
We got to do the combination again. 
This time, I got the pirouette in. It was spotty, but I managed.
That’s when Ms. Munro yelled out, “Better, Emilee!” in her adorable British accent.
Better.
I’m getting better.
And I know how to work on my feet and what to do. And I know what to work on and what to push towards.
And sometimes my feet look ugly in my shoes, and I’m trying to figure out if it’s the shoes, my lack of arch, or my still-trying-to-build confidence that will fix it.
So. there’s that.
I started class thinking, “why do I even try” and was able to leave feeling “this is why.”
Here ya go. I don’t post these often, because I pretend that I actually look like a ballerina and tend to prefer the allusion. But whatever. This is who I am and here it is.

Blisters popped, and I didn’t even notice! This is a big deal for me! Go me! 
hah
And, another one, where my friend caught it as I was starting to fall out of it.
But, eh, whatevs.
I couldn’t do that two months ago.
Yay wonder shoes!
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