search instagram arrow-down
Emilee

Instagram

My front facing camera broke on my phone, making my already limited picture taking even MORE limited. Have a throw back from last spring. I have a blog post in the works. Life has been kinda nutty, my laptop *also* bit the dirt, and things have been kind of overwhelming. Y’all are always on my mind, though! You’ll be hearing from me soon. 💕
Classes yesterday brought to you in part by @leakycon (I don’t usually dress up for costume week, but i do try and incorporate Harry Potter to some degree 🤷🏼‍♀️)
New blog post, link in bio!
My friend Bailey and her company @companythreesixty made this and I have no more words to add. It’s perfect. #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ Why didn’t I report? I didn’t report because I thought that if I’m in a relationship with someone, it meant it was equally my fault. I thought the years of unhealthy feelings towards myself which ensued, were still invalid since it could have been worse. I thought I shouldn’t tell my Momma until a couple of years later on a beautiful mountain walk together, and even then, I softened the story from shame for how I’d appear to the person I love the most. I didn’t report because we live in a world where men use sentences like “it can always be worse” as psychological shrapnel. A world that tells us we should have done more to stop it. A world that, even when I remember the attempts to push away as clearly as consciousness cinema, I was scared to push too hard because I didn’t want to make someone mad. A world that makes me worry at sharing, because I have young students and ‘should be a role-model’: with a role model being pure, respectable, elite, undamaged. Now, a mother, wife, champion, boss... I still worry to report as innocuously as through a #WhyIDidntReport hashtag, lest I somehow appear less for having shared. But as someone who’s survived a darkness far worse than that described, and Shawshanked her way to a life of light- save for second glances over shoulders- I can say that the hardest person to report to is actually... yourself. It’s the you that you had once hoped to be. The you that you’ll never be again. The you that you wish you could go back and protect. The you you wish you had been (louder, less in shock, less weak). The you that once was but was taken. To all the Yous you once were reading this (and the You in me who still feels cemented by shame)... this should never have happened. It doesn’t matter how loud, quiet, forceful... how well you knew them.... You didn’t deserve to lose You because your body wasn’t left as yours. None of us do. None of us ever will. There is no good way to end this bit of writing, because the truth is: it hasn’t ended. A perfect sentence will not wrap this up. Y
Old picture, new post Link in bio
Teaching on my birthday is my favorite thing. Hi, I’m 30, and I gave full sized cupcakes to three year olds and I’m sure their parents hate me

Recent Posts

Recent Comments

vtgem24 on Oh, hi.
anothernightatthebar… on It comes and goes in wave…
vtgem24 on It comes and goes in wave…
anothernightatthebar… on Kansas City Meet-Up
vtgem24 on Kansas City Meet-Up

Archives

Categories

Meta

Categories

Meta

Theater week, school performances

Yesterday we had our two school performances. This is when everything gets real, push comes to shove, and it’s now or never.

We did our warm up, caked on stage make up, strapped on pointe shoes and waiting in the wings for our turn.

And, wouldn’t you know it, my toe decided to get an ingrown toenail. First time ever. I had tried the pirouette in the wings, but my feet were shaking in a weird way I’ve never had happen before. My brain spaced, and during the performance, I didn’t turn.
At all.
Not even on demi.
I did a Releve passe while everyone else turned.
And that wasn’t the only time I screwed up. It was a complete and utter mess. Even one of the other girls said “I thought I was doing bad until I saw you didn’t turn.” Yep. That bad.

The second show had some redemption. I did the turn, but just on demi. My body was wearing down fast and I didn’t want to risk freezing again.

I thought the finale went better, but after rehearsal last night, we still got told we sucked. (Not in those words of course.) Ms Munro went over it with us, so hopefully it all sticks with us tonight.

During the rehearsal, one of the principal dancers seemed to be having a rough go at it. She and her partner missed a few lifts, and there were turn sequences she struggled through but managed to cover well. This isn’t typical for her, either, so I was a little concerned. What was going on?
When the male of the due did his part, some of the other dancers were standing in the wings, joking with each other. I tried to get them to keep their voices down, but it doesn’t work all too often. This is one of my biggest pet peeves; maybe it’s my theater background, maybe it’s that at my old studio no one was allowed to talk in the wings ever. I don’t know. But when it gets to loud I get antsy. Well, the principal dancer turned to them and said, “you can hear your voices on the stage, and it’s actually really distracting.”
And she’s not one to really say anything unless it’s something. She’s not one of those complain about everything types. She only speaks when it’s really something.
And what did the other girls do?
Kept on talking.
I tried asking them to whisper–easy, right?  Apparently not. When I tried reiterating what was said about being able to hear them on stage, they flat out said they didn’t care.
I was infuriated.

Have some simple respect. We don’t need you here, this is a privilege to get to do this. Have some common courtesy and keep the noise level down.

I almost apologized to the dancer, but I felt it would be empty since my apology won’t get them to keep it down. As I was leaving the theater, I saw ms munro. I told her what happened and what was said. She was a little upset she didn’t know sooner to say something at critiques, but I didn’t have a chance to tell her sooner. Hopefully she says something. We have been told in rehearsals before that if a principle tells you something, it goes. Hopefully today goes better than yesterday and no one is childishly bitter at me.

Leave a Reply
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: