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Emilee

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Hi, it’s been a minute, new blog post. Link in bio.
Gotta get back to Hogwarts Gotta get back to school Gotta get myself to Hogwarts Where everything is magicooooool
Mischief Managed.
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. #leakycon #leakycon2018
Y’all, check out my friend Baileys announcement!! I’m so excited for her and super pumped to watch this series she’s a part of! #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ The concept is simple: follow someone’s journey from surgery to stage. Showing the life of a mucus mutant. Showing the life of a bilingual Deaf family. Showing the life of a dancer and @companythreesixty dancers. It technically hits all the hashtags: #spoonie #deaf #adultballerina #bodypositive #chronicillness. It hopefully connects with many communities and provides another voice in the chorus of those wanting representation in media abound. It is positive: a positive network with a positive focus wanting to counter the negative swarmy troll farm that is most modern media to date. But... what if the concept becomes a reality? What if I show not just the recovery from latest rounds of surgeries... but the pain and swelling and funk between? What if I don’t fulfill some sort of diagnostic paradigm being that I am an Atypical diagnosis (and someone who hopes not to be defined by that anyways where I can)? What if we capture not just the invigorating process of putting together a show with women I ferociously admire and protect... but also, how totally messy dance life can be? What if we showcase a family that’s equal parts Deaf as hearing... yet our variable mix of signing, reading lips, caption and speech isn’t in keeping with what the world wants from us? Choosing to share our story has come with a lot of IFs... but we are braving it none the less. Although I can’t believe our pilot episode premiered TODAY and that I can finally announce the news... fear of judgement subsists. Can perspective, positivity and living an imperfect life as openly as possible actually be of benefit? The verdict is still out... but I’m excited to try. I’m excited to see. And I’m excited to get started.▪️Click Link In Bio To Watch The Pilot Or Go To: onlygood.tv▪️#CatchingBreaths
The builders weren’t out today, so I decided to have one last hoorah in our still empty, hurricane Harvey-Ed house. They’ve finally begun repairs, and I’m super pumped for it to be fixed, but also a bit sad at the loss of the house as we knew it and how it was growing up. Here I’m in our game room, the red wall is my bathroom, and to the right is my old bedroom, where I was the night before the storm came. The bed I slept on had ceiling and insulation fallen on it the next day. Still pretty surreal almost a year out. TL;DR I love my new @sodancausa dance sneakers I got from @cinqdanceessentials ! Super pumped for the new year!

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Missed a class already.

Yesterday I had to skip my 6s class.
Well, I guess I didn’t have to. But I did. I think it was for the best.

Me knee was feeling better in the morning, but as soon as I started bending it more than just walking, the pain returned faster than…well…something fast.

I had my chiropractor’s appointment yesterday. I told the guy who preps me for the rolly-bed-thing about my knee, and he seemed understanding at my concern, but what can he really do for me? Not much.
So I was psyching myself up to make sure I asked the chiropractor about it.
I get into the adjustment room. He comes in. We pop my back a million ways to Sunday, and then I was able to ask him.
It was quick. It wasn’t detailed. I told him my knee had been hurting and asked if it could be because it’s the longer leg. He said no, it shouldn’t be, and he put these little acupuncture bead things on my ears to help with the pain and gave me these supplements to take.
I had read online how your legs can become uneven from muscles being too tight on one side, jacking up the muscles on the opposite side and causing your bones to shift and stuff. I thought of the massage therapist telling me the pain on my right side was from the tension on my left.
One of the articles I found had a detailed regimen to do to help correct this, including the separate exercises on each leg, since the longer one will need different things than the shorter. I’m going to do this anyway, even though the chiropractor doesn’t seem to think it’s a contributing factor.
I bought a foam roller. I hadn’t been dancing all that much to really need one before (although I’m sure anyone can use them if they really wanted) and since I’ve been dancing more I haven’t had the floor space to do any rolling. Now I kinda do, enough anyway, so I got one and tried rolling out last night. I don’t know if I did it right or enough or too much pressure or not enough pressure, but I guess it’s a learning process.
(I just don’t want to waste any time. I don’t have any extra. This is all pretty tight.)

My stomach has been giving me heck, which made rolling out complicated. I couldn’t hold my core like I needed to some of the times because it made me feel sick. It’s beyond frustrating.
I need my stomach to shape up to roll out.
I need to roll out to be able to dance.
I need to dance to help my stomach shape up.
Vicious cycle.

I’m trying to not let it get to me.
Some days are better than others.

After the chiropractor, I went by the studio to talk to Ms. Munro about helping with baby classes.
They had me come into the office through the studio. First thing they did was sit me down and ask if I was okay.
I was like
What? yeah. wait, why wouldn’t I be?
And they were like
Is your knee okay?
And I’m like
Ohhh, that yeaaaaah…
And told them about my knee and how it’s been giving me trouble but now has escalated and how it’s all connected and my back and about the wreck and the nerve damage and my stomach and, ya know, the usual things I’m dealing with.
And Ms. Munro sat there with this semi-stunned look on her face.
She told me how she was amazed at all I’d been through and sorry that I had to deal with all of it. They had no clue all of this was  going on which seems to be the theme here lately and I guess that’s good.

And it was nice, ya know, to have an authority figure hear of all the issues I’m facing and not think that I just need to suck it up or stop being dramatic or whatever, but rather see it for the struggle it is. I wasn’t shot down for it. I can’t really explain how soothing that was for me. To be heard and understood and empathized with genuinely.
They obviously want me better, and they want me to do what I need to achieve that.
It was cool.
She said no grands, like Abby had suggested, and said that the whole rolling-out-different-exercises-for-each-leg thing sounded wise. So, I’m hopeful?
I was more hopeful before trying to roll out last night and feeling like an idiot.

I’m going to be helping Mia with one of her classes on Friday’s starting next week. I’m nervous because I don’t really know Mia. I haven’t taken her class and I don’t really know how she functions. I’m going to have to be assertive, so I’m hoping I don’t piss her off or overstep any bounds. I’m sure it’ll be fine. I just gotta get used to it. Dive in and sink or swim.

This means I’ll be driving into Corpus (about a 40-minute drive) 5 days a week now. Which is rough. But. I dunno. It’s worth it I guess? I like what I’m doing so. That’s nice.

I just feel like things are about to change. I don’t know what that means or if it’ll be a change I’ll like or hate, but a change nonetheless. It feels like something will be blowing in with this colder weather.
Cold fronts make me feel something more anyway. It’s hard to describe.
Like the memories stick better or something.
I feel it all.

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