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Mischief Managed.
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. #leakycon #leakycon2018
Y’all, check out my friend Baileys announcement!! I’m so excited for her and super pumped to watch this series she’s a part of! #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ The concept is simple: follow someone’s journey from surgery to stage. Showing the life of a mucus mutant. Showing the life of a bilingual Deaf family. Showing the life of a dancer and @companythreesixty dancers. It technically hits all the hashtags: #spoonie #deaf #adultballerina #bodypositive #chronicillness. It hopefully connects with many communities and provides another voice in the chorus of those wanting representation in media abound. It is positive: a positive network with a positive focus wanting to counter the negative swarmy troll farm that is most modern media to date. But... what if the concept becomes a reality? What if I show not just the recovery from latest rounds of surgeries... but the pain and swelling and funk between? What if I don’t fulfill some sort of diagnostic paradigm being that I am an Atypical diagnosis (and someone who hopes not to be defined by that anyways where I can)? What if we capture not just the invigorating process of putting together a show with women I ferociously admire and protect... but also, how totally messy dance life can be? What if we showcase a family that’s equal parts Deaf as hearing... yet our variable mix of signing, reading lips, caption and speech isn’t in keeping with what the world wants from us? Choosing to share our story has come with a lot of IFs... but we are braving it none the less. Although I can’t believe our pilot episode premiered TODAY and that I can finally announce the news... fear of judgement subsists. Can perspective, positivity and living an imperfect life as openly as possible actually be of benefit? The verdict is still out... but I’m excited to try. I’m excited to see. And I’m excited to get started.▪️Click Link In Bio To Watch The Pilot Or Go To:▪️#CatchingBreaths
The builders weren’t out today, so I decided to have one last hoorah in our still empty, hurricane Harvey-Ed house. They’ve finally begun repairs, and I’m super pumped for it to be fixed, but also a bit sad at the loss of the house as we knew it and how it was growing up. Here I’m in our game room, the red wall is my bathroom, and to the right is my old bedroom, where I was the night before the storm came. The bed I slept on had ceiling and insulation fallen on it the next day. Still pretty surreal almost a year out. TL;DR I love my new @sodancausa dance sneakers I got from @cinqdanceessentials ! Super pumped for the new year!
We had a guest teacher in class last night. I wrote a blog post about it! Link is in the bio. (Spoiler. It was wonderful.) Thank you so much, @linds779 for teaching us! (Ps. My shirt is from @balletlibrarian ‘s book Cantique, you can totally still get ya one. It’s my favorite, obviously.) PD: photo of me and Lindsi Dec from Pacific Northwest Ballet after class.
Once upon a time, my toes used to touch the floor.

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Feast of Sharing

Now that I’ve officially embarked on eating my weight in junk food–which is totally logical since we don’t have class for a few weeks–I figured I’d take a second to give y’all an update.

Today we had a promotional event called Feast of Sharing. It’s an annual event here locally put on by H.E.B., a grocery store chain pretty big in Texas, every Christmas Eve to provide a holiday dinner to anyone in the community. They make it a huge event with arts and crafts, kids zone, and performances by locals. It’s not just in our area; HEB hosts this event all over the state. Members of the company go and do a few parts of Nutcracker. I’ve never gone before, but went this year. It was a lot of fun! We actually had a good amount of dancers able to make it, so the whole thing worked out pretty slick!

(once again, they aren’t rotating…)
Jennifer and I did the flowers part of finale, and we had the perfect amount of each bit that was represented, and it used the perfect amount of finale music. 
While we were waiting, I asked Annika to show me a few things I didn’t know but am fairly certain will come up in auditions. I obviously don’t have it perfectly, but I have the idea of it, so I can work on it more so that I don’t freeze up if and when it comes up. I want to practice as much as I can so that way I can do the best audition I’ve done, instead of just kind of putsing through it. I want to actually leave an audition and feel good about it. 
There was a day I was in the small studio with Andie on a Tuesday working on doubles. She watched and explained what I needed to work on to help me have proper alignment to get my turns more solid so I can move on to multiples more than just accidentally. There was one turn I did that was supposed to be a double, but it was so bombed I laughed before I even finished bombing it. 
But, then I realized that what was laughable to me now would have been a huge accomplishment to me not too long ago. And that’s what I need to remember; progress is happening. If I keep working hard, progress will keep happening. I can’t let myself get discouraged. I need to remind myself that it takes time, and that I need to keep working hard to see anything happen. 
Mom asked me how long I’m going to keep dancing. Innocent enough question, I guess. And honestly, if she’s not in the ballet world, I really can’t expect her to understand what kind of question that is. That this isn’t just some whim, but a lifestyle. This is part of who I am. It’s in the core of who I am. 
I love ballet. I love dance. I love movement. I love expression. I love doing something to make someone feel something. And seeing the faces of the people today as we danced reminded me of why I really love this; of what inside me begged me to dance. To face my fears and the doubts of those around me. 
So, that’s all. Just some thoughts.

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