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Teaching on my birthday is my favorite thing. Hi, I’m 30, and I gave full sized cupcakes to three year olds and I’m sure their parents hate me
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Gotta get back to Hogwarts Gotta get back to school Gotta get myself to Hogwarts Where everything is magicooooool
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I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. #leakycon #leakycon2018
Y’all, check out my friend Baileys announcement!! I’m so excited for her and super pumped to watch this series she’s a part of! #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ The concept is simple: follow someone’s journey from surgery to stage. Showing the life of a mucus mutant. Showing the life of a bilingual Deaf family. Showing the life of a dancer and @companythreesixty dancers. It technically hits all the hashtags: #spoonie #deaf #adultballerina #bodypositive #chronicillness. It hopefully connects with many communities and provides another voice in the chorus of those wanting representation in media abound. It is positive: a positive network with a positive focus wanting to counter the negative swarmy troll farm that is most modern media to date. But... what if the concept becomes a reality? What if I show not just the recovery from latest rounds of surgeries... but the pain and swelling and funk between? What if I don’t fulfill some sort of diagnostic paradigm being that I am an Atypical diagnosis (and someone who hopes not to be defined by that anyways where I can)? What if we capture not just the invigorating process of putting together a show with women I ferociously admire and protect... but also, how totally messy dance life can be? What if we showcase a family that’s equal parts Deaf as hearing... yet our variable mix of signing, reading lips, caption and speech isn’t in keeping with what the world wants from us? Choosing to share our story has come with a lot of IFs... but we are braving it none the less. Although I can’t believe our pilot episode premiered TODAY and that I can finally announce the news... fear of judgement subsists. Can perspective, positivity and living an imperfect life as openly as possible actually be of benefit? The verdict is still out... but I’m excited to try. I’m excited to see. And I’m excited to get started.▪️Click Link In Bio To Watch The Pilot Or Go To:▪️#CatchingBreaths

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I had to leave church early to get to rehearsal, then went straight back after rehearsal for our building dedication. 

There’s a missions conference that’s been happening this weekend, of which I have missed most. But the missionary who spoke this morning made a good point. 

He’s a very real person, and he preaches along those lines. He’s been to some very dangerous places, and places he never expected to be–after all he didn’t think he’d be a missionary. He was a pastor. Shut down his church. Moved to Africa to open a bible school. But he’s obedient and spoke of how God fulfills His promises when we’re obedient. 

He doesn’t worry about being politically correct. He said “freaking” which could ruffle some feathers, but he didn’t care. He’s one of my favorites. 

Anyway, at one point he was talking about something God spoke to him when he was in the Ukraine, surrounded by the mafia. That the relationship God had with Jesus when He was a man is the kind of relationship God wants to have with us. That we are the ones who put the limitations on. He said that God isn’t doing all these amazing things (he began talking about the universe and how much more vast it is that they have discovered over the years.) just to prove to us that He’s awesome. He did it so we would want to get to know Him. So that we would see, and realize that He is HUGE and can do big things. That we would realize this relationship He wants to have with us, and in that realize this is all about people. 

It’s about God, and how good He is–yes, but it’s about people. God wants to know us. He wants to be so close with us. 

(Here’s the point of all that in relation to ballet)

I stood in rehearsal today, for my 20 second part in this ballet that I’ve worked so hard on thus far for a part I’ll probably never get to dance. 

I thought about how many people have told me how upset they are at this. 

I thought of how many people told me that I’m a good dancer, which is really nice because the casting can make me think that I didn’t get roles like my peers because I’m not good enough. But. That’s not necessarily the case. They help me see that. To not give up.

I thought of how Ms Munro complimented me at warm up yesterday and today. (Today being a warm up primarily made up of advanced girls) and I thought of how I’m still not this role in working hard for. 

And I thought of where I am and how this ballet plays into my story. And how in the world I’m gonna get through the rest of the season if it’s this hard already. 

And then one of my babies (okay she’s as tall as me, but still my baby) just hugged me. She is one of the sweetest souls I have ever met, and really she changes this whole experience for me from painful to having good memories.

I thought of the people who have encouraged me with this, most without even being provoked. 

And then we started learning our 20 second bit and my group of girls I’m usually in the same role as, but this time ended up not being (which honestly is hard. It makes me feel left out, even though I understand I am tall. And fit the costume. And it’s fine. I miss them) and they all cheered for me, like I was the greatest dancer. And it just made me feel good. 

And I realized that pastor, missionary man was right. 

This is all about people. 

It’s about being together. It’s about encouraging each other. It’s about being there for each other. It’s about the experience as a whole and getting through it together. 

The roles are nice. It’s nice to be recognized for your hard work. But. That’s not everything. 

It’s the memories were making and being in this together. 

So my phone is dying and I’m just gonna end this post there. But realize, whatever life hands you when it’s favorable or not, it’s about the people more than it’s about what you see on the surface. 

(Ms m thought there was a bug and was wondering what I was looking at. 😂)

This entry was posted in dance.
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