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Emilee

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Mischief Managed.
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. #leakycon #leakycon2018
Y’all, check out my friend Baileys announcement!! I’m so excited for her and super pumped to watch this series she’s a part of! #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ The concept is simple: follow someone’s journey from surgery to stage. Showing the life of a mucus mutant. Showing the life of a bilingual Deaf family. Showing the life of a dancer and @companythreesixty dancers. It technically hits all the hashtags: #spoonie #deaf #adultballerina #bodypositive #chronicillness. It hopefully connects with many communities and provides another voice in the chorus of those wanting representation in media abound. It is positive: a positive network with a positive focus wanting to counter the negative swarmy troll farm that is most modern media to date. But... what if the concept becomes a reality? What if I show not just the recovery from latest rounds of surgeries... but the pain and swelling and funk between? What if I don’t fulfill some sort of diagnostic paradigm being that I am an Atypical diagnosis (and someone who hopes not to be defined by that anyways where I can)? What if we capture not just the invigorating process of putting together a show with women I ferociously admire and protect... but also, how totally messy dance life can be? What if we showcase a family that’s equal parts Deaf as hearing... yet our variable mix of signing, reading lips, caption and speech isn’t in keeping with what the world wants from us? Choosing to share our story has come with a lot of IFs... but we are braving it none the less. Although I can’t believe our pilot episode premiered TODAY and that I can finally announce the news... fear of judgement subsists. Can perspective, positivity and living an imperfect life as openly as possible actually be of benefit? The verdict is still out... but I’m excited to try. I’m excited to see. And I’m excited to get started.▪️Click Link In Bio To Watch The Pilot Or Go To: onlygood.tv▪️#CatchingBreaths
The builders weren’t out today, so I decided to have one last hoorah in our still empty, hurricane Harvey-Ed house. They’ve finally begun repairs, and I’m super pumped for it to be fixed, but also a bit sad at the loss of the house as we knew it and how it was growing up. Here I’m in our game room, the red wall is my bathroom, and to the right is my old bedroom, where I was the night before the storm came. The bed I slept on had ceiling and insulation fallen on it the next day. Still pretty surreal almost a year out. TL;DR I love my new @sodancausa dance sneakers I got from @cinqdanceessentials ! Super pumped for the new year!
We had a guest teacher in class last night. I wrote a blog post about it! Link is in the bio. (Spoiler. It was wonderful.) Thank you so much, @linds779 for teaching us! (Ps. My shirt is from @balletlibrarian ‘s book Cantique, you can totally still get ya one. It’s my favorite, obviously.) PD: photo of me and Lindsi Dec from Pacific Northwest Ballet after class.
Once upon a time, my toes used to touch the floor.

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Summer Class Two. 

Today was my second summer class, though the third for those doing the complete intensive. 

I had a baby class which had 8 kids in it–more 3 year olds than Monday–which went well enough. Surprisingly better than Monday, even though most of Monday’s were a bit older. 

One of the little ones kept running around, which lead the others to follow, but her dad came in and got onto her which made my life so much better. (God bless the parents who give their kids boundaries and enforce rules.) 

My favorite little one was there again. I’m so glad to have her in both classes. Even though she is new to this language, and she’s super young, she keeps rather focused and does relatively well. She’s a little ray of sunshine. I love her so much. 

I made it through, hopeful that maybe I can get an assistant (how about it Abarrane?) it’d be a much more efficient class if there were someone to help rope in the ones that stray. 

There was one little girl who was crying and didn’t want her mom to leave, but she was really sweet and actually very into ballet once she got into it and felt a little more safe. She was really sweet. 

I have a few names to learn, and chances are as soon as I learn them the summer will be over. But there’s something about being called by name that makes a difference. It matters. It shows that you matter. 

I waited for our class and read a really neat article posted in an adult ballerina Facebook page I’m part of about a dancer who has chronic pain in her leg. She details the struggle she faces every moment of every day, and describes so beautifully how ballet helps you have a bit of an escape from a world that causes you so much pain. 


(That top paragraph.)

(Here’s the article!)

I like how she describes the way class keeps your mind busy to help you forget about the overwhelming way life can bear down on you. How even though sometimes you feel it during class, you fight it for the further goal. 

Ms Munro taught class tonight, and it went really well. My friend Alex from the leveled classes was in it, which made me really happy, and the new girl we had last week came back! Brand new. Never taken ballet before, and holding up decently enough! 

Ms Munro gave me a few compliments. I don’t particularly remember what on, but I remember being slightly surprised that she was actually speaking to me. But she was, by name, a few “nice, Emilee!” ‘s here and there. One I do remember was when she saw my balance in back attitude. I’ve struggled with balancing often, but I was able to actually hold it. 

I feel like in Adult, I’m able to focus more on the technique of the moment instead of simply the flare. I can think about where my head is supposed to be. I can think about straight knees and closing in fifth. I can think about pointing my foot and making sure all five toes are on the floor when I close. I can pay attention. I can think through every movement. I can try harder. 

Ms Munro also gave me corrections–to pique onto a completely straight knee, to plié before I do many things. They were new corrections. It was nice. 

After class, she complimented my leotard, and told me that I was looking really well. She said my epaulment and my placement and presenting looked really good. Which. Like. Never happens. I mean maybe to other people, but never me. And never after class to me directly. It was really cool. And made me feel really good. 

Adult makes me feel really good. I can take time to breathe and think and try. 

My stomach was hurting really badly during and after class. It typically doesn’t feel all that great but this time it was a bit extreme. I thought about walking out but I didn’t want to do that. It’s only an hour long, but today it felt like much, much longer. 

It was a great class. The other dancers were so light hearted and kind and we all tried hard and did our best. It just left me feeling really good after, in spite of feeling like crap internally. These are my favorite. 

The adult class is a bit intimidating, though, and I didn’t get any pictures of me in my eleve. I felt dumb asking anyone to take it, though I could have even had Ms Munro take it. But I chickened out. Hopefully I can get some pictures later. 

(I did get this one in my bathroom mirror though.)


I still wish I could slim down a little, but I know I don’t have much control over that right now. It’s frustrating. But I can only do so much. Especially with food hating me. I wish I could figure out how to help this, but it seems it of my control for right now. 

I’m not gonna dwell on it. It only makes me feel worse about something I can’t control. 

So I’m gonna think of adorable tiny baby ballerinas and compliments from Ms Munro. 

And my dog. Cause she’s cute. 

Here she is asleep. Hehehe 

This entry was posted in dance.
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