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Emilee

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Mischief Managed.
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. #leakycon #leakycon2018
Y’all, check out my friend Baileys announcement!! I’m so excited for her and super pumped to watch this series she’s a part of! #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ The concept is simple: follow someone’s journey from surgery to stage. Showing the life of a mucus mutant. Showing the life of a bilingual Deaf family. Showing the life of a dancer and @companythreesixty dancers. It technically hits all the hashtags: #spoonie #deaf #adultballerina #bodypositive #chronicillness. It hopefully connects with many communities and provides another voice in the chorus of those wanting representation in media abound. It is positive: a positive network with a positive focus wanting to counter the negative swarmy troll farm that is most modern media to date. But... what if the concept becomes a reality? What if I show not just the recovery from latest rounds of surgeries... but the pain and swelling and funk between? What if I don’t fulfill some sort of diagnostic paradigm being that I am an Atypical diagnosis (and someone who hopes not to be defined by that anyways where I can)? What if we capture not just the invigorating process of putting together a show with women I ferociously admire and protect... but also, how totally messy dance life can be? What if we showcase a family that’s equal parts Deaf as hearing... yet our variable mix of signing, reading lips, caption and speech isn’t in keeping with what the world wants from us? Choosing to share our story has come with a lot of IFs... but we are braving it none the less. Although I can’t believe our pilot episode premiered TODAY and that I can finally announce the news... fear of judgement subsists. Can perspective, positivity and living an imperfect life as openly as possible actually be of benefit? The verdict is still out... but I’m excited to try. I’m excited to see. And I’m excited to get started.▪️Click Link In Bio To Watch The Pilot Or Go To: onlygood.tv▪️#CatchingBreaths
The builders weren’t out today, so I decided to have one last hoorah in our still empty, hurricane Harvey-Ed house. They’ve finally begun repairs, and I’m super pumped for it to be fixed, but also a bit sad at the loss of the house as we knew it and how it was growing up. Here I’m in our game room, the red wall is my bathroom, and to the right is my old bedroom, where I was the night before the storm came. The bed I slept on had ceiling and insulation fallen on it the next day. Still pretty surreal almost a year out. TL;DR I love my new @sodancausa dance sneakers I got from @cinqdanceessentials ! Super pumped for the new year!
We had a guest teacher in class last night. I wrote a blog post about it! Link is in the bio. (Spoiler. It was wonderful.) Thank you so much, @linds779 for teaching us! (Ps. My shirt is from @balletlibrarian ‘s book Cantique, you can totally still get ya one. It’s my favorite, obviously.) PD: photo of me and Lindsi Dec from Pacific Northwest Ballet after class.
Once upon a time, my toes used to touch the floor.

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Last studio rehearsal. 

This weekend is our last rehearsals at the down town studio. 


Which is where I am currently. 

Yesterday we ran the whole show all the way through in costume. I completely forgot about getting pictures, but it went better than I was expecting. I wasn’t sure at all how my body would handle it, and I was shaking by the time we were doing the center part of warm up. 

I forced myself to keep a positive attitude. To not let my anxiety win out. I made myself take deep breaths before we went on for our first dance, hoping that it would encourage me to remember to breathe the entire dance. Apparently it worked, because I did the best I’ve done so far. It made me feel better about going into theatre week, but now I have to make sure I do the best I can to stay as healthy as I can be going into this week of long rehearsals and work deadlines and show weekend. 

Honestly, I’m not letting myself think about it all. Because if I think about it all, then I realize how overwhelming everything I’m doing really is. Not to mention the pressure I feel people are putting on me to keep up with everything I have on my plate without showing any inch of wear. It’s exhausting. I can’t even let myself think about things past shows and deadlines, because if I do that I get this tightness and panic that sits in my chest and doesn’t help anything. 

We’re here for another 3.5 hours. It’s our last bit of fine tuning and really getting the kinks out. Wednesday we begin rehearsals in the theater, and Friday is the school show. I won’t be in it, so I get released from rehearsal early Thursday as well. 

I hope to make updates throughout, but I’m not sure if that will happen. But there will be pictures! 
I hope you are all doing well! 

This entry was posted in dance.
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