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Emilee

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My front facing camera broke on my phone, making my already limited picture taking even MORE limited. Have a throw back from last spring. I have a blog post in the works. Life has been kinda nutty, my laptop *also* bit the dirt, and things have been kind of overwhelming. Y’all are always on my mind, though! You’ll be hearing from me soon. 💕
Classes yesterday brought to you in part by @leakycon (I don’t usually dress up for costume week, but i do try and incorporate Harry Potter to some degree 🤷🏼‍♀️)
New blog post, link in bio!
My friend Bailey and her company @companythreesixty made this and I have no more words to add. It’s perfect. #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ Why didn’t I report? I didn’t report because I thought that if I’m in a relationship with someone, it meant it was equally my fault. I thought the years of unhealthy feelings towards myself which ensued, were still invalid since it could have been worse. I thought I shouldn’t tell my Momma until a couple of years later on a beautiful mountain walk together, and even then, I softened the story from shame for how I’d appear to the person I love the most. I didn’t report because we live in a world where men use sentences like “it can always be worse” as psychological shrapnel. A world that tells us we should have done more to stop it. A world that, even when I remember the attempts to push away as clearly as consciousness cinema, I was scared to push too hard because I didn’t want to make someone mad. A world that makes me worry at sharing, because I have young students and ‘should be a role-model’: with a role model being pure, respectable, elite, undamaged. Now, a mother, wife, champion, boss... I still worry to report as innocuously as through a #WhyIDidntReport hashtag, lest I somehow appear less for having shared. But as someone who’s survived a darkness far worse than that described, and Shawshanked her way to a life of light- save for second glances over shoulders- I can say that the hardest person to report to is actually... yourself. It’s the you that you had once hoped to be. The you that you’ll never be again. The you that you wish you could go back and protect. The you you wish you had been (louder, less in shock, less weak). The you that once was but was taken. To all the Yous you once were reading this (and the You in me who still feels cemented by shame)... this should never have happened. It doesn’t matter how loud, quiet, forceful... how well you knew them.... You didn’t deserve to lose You because your body wasn’t left as yours. None of us do. None of us ever will. There is no good way to end this bit of writing, because the truth is: it hasn’t ended. A perfect sentence will not wrap this up. Y
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Teaching on my birthday is my favorite thing. Hi, I’m 30, and I gave full sized cupcakes to three year olds and I’m sure their parents hate me

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Hello Hurricane 

I’m currently in a loaded down truck with two dogs and my Dad heading out of town. Hurricane Harvey is going to make a direct hit on our little town, just north of the city where my studio is. We originally were going to ride it out but things got worse and we had time to leave so we did. 

At this point we aren’t sure what we’ll come home to, but we did all we could to secure everything. My mom, sister, and 2-week-old nephew left with my sisters in laws this morning and Dad and I headed out a little before 10am. The winds were picking up and the rain was starting to blow in. 

I intended to have a blog post written yesterday, but the storm started getting ugly. I prepared my house the best I could by taking down my ballet painting and putting her on top of my bed and getting as much off the floor as possible. 

Before we knew we were going to get hit with an insane storm, ballet classes started this week. I teach on Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays, so I was able to teach my class Wednesday before things got really bad and we closed the studio yesterday. 

It was really weird knowing that I wouldn’t be staying for class. Even more odd was seeing my friends and dance moms and them asking what classes I’m taking and telling them, “I can’t dance anymore.” 

Everything escalated so quickly that I haven’t seen any of them for them to really have any inclination that this would be a thing. Last they knew, I was dancing the corps roles of our spring show while taking class twice a week, not including rehearsals. So to go from that to “I can’t dance” is pretty drastic. 

I explained that I’m still able to teach, but I have to have an assistant. They were glad to know that I’ll still be around and and not totally out of it yet. 

My class is full of 18 five year olds who seem to love life and are very chatty. They’re stinking cute and hopefully we’ll be able to get a good sense of order pretty quickly. Once I learn their names it will be much easier. 

It made me so happy to be back in the studio. I’m not sure what we will be coming back to when this storm is over. They’re expecting 120 mph winds and storm surges of up to 15 or so feet, with up to 35 inches of rain falling. Our downtown studio is prone to flooding and I’m not sure how the studio in town does, but we’ll cross that bridge when it gets here. 

Please be praying for us as this storm is going to be rather catastrophic. To be blunt, they’re telling residents in our town that stayed to write the name of their next of kin on their forearms with sharpie and tape it. Please also be praying for my brother in law who is a police officer in this town and is working the storm through Monday. 

This entry was posted in dance.

2 comments on “Hello Hurricane 

  1. hyysterika says:

    Stay safe! Glad you are going somewhere safe! I’m not sure if I’ve ever commented but I read all of your blogs. Again, glad you’re going to safety.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I see when you like them and it makes my day! I appreciate you 😊😊

      Like

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