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Emilee

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My front facing camera broke on my phone, making my already limited picture taking even MORE limited. Have a throw back from last spring. I have a blog post in the works. Life has been kinda nutty, my laptop *also* bit the dirt, and things have been kind of overwhelming. Y’all are always on my mind, though! You’ll be hearing from me soon. 💕
Classes yesterday brought to you in part by @leakycon (I don’t usually dress up for costume week, but i do try and incorporate Harry Potter to some degree 🤷🏼‍♀️)
New blog post, link in bio!
My friend Bailey and her company @companythreesixty made this and I have no more words to add. It’s perfect. #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ Why didn’t I report? I didn’t report because I thought that if I’m in a relationship with someone, it meant it was equally my fault. I thought the years of unhealthy feelings towards myself which ensued, were still invalid since it could have been worse. I thought I shouldn’t tell my Momma until a couple of years later on a beautiful mountain walk together, and even then, I softened the story from shame for how I’d appear to the person I love the most. I didn’t report because we live in a world where men use sentences like “it can always be worse” as psychological shrapnel. A world that tells us we should have done more to stop it. A world that, even when I remember the attempts to push away as clearly as consciousness cinema, I was scared to push too hard because I didn’t want to make someone mad. A world that makes me worry at sharing, because I have young students and ‘should be a role-model’: with a role model being pure, respectable, elite, undamaged. Now, a mother, wife, champion, boss... I still worry to report as innocuously as through a #WhyIDidntReport hashtag, lest I somehow appear less for having shared. But as someone who’s survived a darkness far worse than that described, and Shawshanked her way to a life of light- save for second glances over shoulders- I can say that the hardest person to report to is actually... yourself. It’s the you that you had once hoped to be. The you that you’ll never be again. The you that you wish you could go back and protect. The you you wish you had been (louder, less in shock, less weak). The you that once was but was taken. To all the Yous you once were reading this (and the You in me who still feels cemented by shame)... this should never have happened. It doesn’t matter how loud, quiet, forceful... how well you knew them.... You didn’t deserve to lose You because your body wasn’t left as yours. None of us do. None of us ever will. There is no good way to end this bit of writing, because the truth is: it hasn’t ended. A perfect sentence will not wrap this up. Y
Old picture, new post Link in bio
Teaching on my birthday is my favorite thing. Hi, I’m 30, and I gave full sized cupcakes to three year olds and I’m sure their parents hate me

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Summer classes

Okay, so this isn’t really anything I’m learning, but it is something I’m really excited about!
Jilissa told us today what to expect for the summer classes.
Usually we’ll start a little earlier or go a little longer or something that changes it a little bit.

Today she told us we would start at 5:15 instead of 6.
That Beginner/Intermediate will be from 5:15-6:15
Then we’ll have a pointe class from 6:15-6:45
Then we’ll have advanced from 6:45-8

She then told us,
“I highly recommend you stay for the pointe class. Even if you’re not on pointe yet, but you’re working towards it. It’s going to be a lot of releve’s and strengthening exercises. It’s going to be really good. And every single one of you in here can stay for the advanced class. I want every single one of you in the advanced class.”
wait, all of us? We can all stay?
I can stay for advanced?!

She then went on to tell us that it’s going to be a lot of hard work and really going for it this summer. Summer’s tend to be a little more intense and really good for challenging and bettering you.
I’m really excited. My goal is to get on pointe by fall, but I know if that doesn’t happen, then it’ll be okay. I don’t want to get on earlier than what I’m ready for. But she was making a lot of eye contact with me, so I know she knows I want this. And the fact that she’s changing the classes to do these things that are going to help me so much, I’m PUMPED.

I’m really looking forward to summer 🙂

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