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I just posted a super difficult blog post that I’ve been trying to write for a few months. I also thought about waiting until the summer to post it, but feel that now is the best time. The details are there, but essentially this is my last year teaching. I also won’t be active on this account anymore. It’ll remain live, as will my blog, but I won’t be checking in on it. This has been an extremely difficult decision to have to come to, but it’s one I can’t avoid anymore. If you’d like to keep up with me, please feel free to follow my personal account @emileeayers or my poetry account @forthestranger (or my “nerd” account if you’re into that, @thenerdjacket ) I love y’all so much and am super grateful for the friends I’ve made over the years through ballet. Super proud of y’all and everything you’re accomplishing every day. (Thanks to Mrs Gigi for this picture from nutcracker this year. It’s super special to me.)
I’ll have a proper post after the trip when I can blog. I’m the meantime, please enjoy this photo of @ballerinakay that I am properly obsessed with. ❤️
Two years ago today, I met @allie_on_pointe in person! In NINE DAYS we’re going to London together! I truly cherish the friends being in the dance world as an adult has given me. ❤️
Caught the train, heading back to hogwarts. See you witches (and wizards) there!
The dance season started up this week! My classes started today, and I wrote a blog post about it. Now I’m gonna go sleep. Link in bio
I was at a Harry Potter convention this weekend with my best friend and had an unexpected ballet encounter. I wrote about it if that’s your sort of thing. Link in the bio. 💛🖤

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Have I mentioned how much I love summer classes?
Because I love summer classes!

They are smaller and more technical and I just feel like I learn loads more.
I feel more challenged and like I’m improving more in a shorter amount of time.
Maybe it’s all in my head, I don’t know, but I love it.

During yesterday’s class, my friend Sarah and I were paired up for a combination across the floor. It was fairly simple, except for this switch leap we had never seen before in our lives. (spare the numerous youtube and instagram videos we marvel over every day.)

But instead of freaking out and dreading the one step at the end we weren’t sure of, Sarah had an idea.
She looked at me with wide eyes and said, “Let’s pretend we’re auditioning for the National Ballet!”
I didn’t really have much time to deny this request, or over think it or analyze anything. We just went out there and pretended like we were auditioning for the National Ballet (is that even a real company?)
Now during recital rehearsals, we would often half-sarcastically pretend we were performing for one place or the other to get ourselves to think about our face and expression, but this was new.
It was an audition. We had to give it our all.

Of course, that first time we screwed everything up and ended up laughing as we stood at the wall while I said between gasps, “We didn’t get picked!”

But after two or three (I can’t remember) more times doing this combination and pretending to be auditioning for this or that company, we noticed that we tried harder. We didn’t fall apart at a mistake, we didn’t drop the ending just because we completely messed it up. Instead, we held ourselves together and did our best that we are capable of.
She asked, “Didn’t you feel a difference?” between smiles and giggles about how potentially ridiculous we were appearing. (If it was anything compared to what we felt.)

Maybe kids have something going with this.
Maybe imagination is what we’re lacking.
Maybe losing our sense of wonder is what shoots our confidence.
Whose to say these things aren’t possible?
I mean, I don’t think we will ever get into a company–that’s just not realistic.
But whose to say we can’t accomplish things no one would necessarily expect a 25 and 30 year old to accomplish with such limited experience in ballet?

I’ve loved watching Sarah grow as a dancer. It is definitely encouraging to me and makes me want to get better.

And having someone to feel absolutely ridiculous with sure helps, too.

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