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Emilee

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Mischief Managed.
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. #leakycon #leakycon2018
Y’all, check out my friend Baileys announcement!! I’m so excited for her and super pumped to watch this series she’s a part of! #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ The concept is simple: follow someone’s journey from surgery to stage. Showing the life of a mucus mutant. Showing the life of a bilingual Deaf family. Showing the life of a dancer and @companythreesixty dancers. It technically hits all the hashtags: #spoonie #deaf #adultballerina #bodypositive #chronicillness. It hopefully connects with many communities and provides another voice in the chorus of those wanting representation in media abound. It is positive: a positive network with a positive focus wanting to counter the negative swarmy troll farm that is most modern media to date. But... what if the concept becomes a reality? What if I show not just the recovery from latest rounds of surgeries... but the pain and swelling and funk between? What if I don’t fulfill some sort of diagnostic paradigm being that I am an Atypical diagnosis (and someone who hopes not to be defined by that anyways where I can)? What if we capture not just the invigorating process of putting together a show with women I ferociously admire and protect... but also, how totally messy dance life can be? What if we showcase a family that’s equal parts Deaf as hearing... yet our variable mix of signing, reading lips, caption and speech isn’t in keeping with what the world wants from us? Choosing to share our story has come with a lot of IFs... but we are braving it none the less. Although I can’t believe our pilot episode premiered TODAY and that I can finally announce the news... fear of judgement subsists. Can perspective, positivity and living an imperfect life as openly as possible actually be of benefit? The verdict is still out... but I’m excited to try. I’m excited to see. And I’m excited to get started.▪️Click Link In Bio To Watch The Pilot Or Go To: onlygood.tv▪️#CatchingBreaths
The builders weren’t out today, so I decided to have one last hoorah in our still empty, hurricane Harvey-Ed house. They’ve finally begun repairs, and I’m super pumped for it to be fixed, but also a bit sad at the loss of the house as we knew it and how it was growing up. Here I’m in our game room, the red wall is my bathroom, and to the right is my old bedroom, where I was the night before the storm came. The bed I slept on had ceiling and insulation fallen on it the next day. Still pretty surreal almost a year out. TL;DR I love my new @sodancausa dance sneakers I got from @cinqdanceessentials ! Super pumped for the new year!
We had a guest teacher in class last night. I wrote a blog post about it! Link is in the bio. (Spoiler. It was wonderful.) Thank you so much, @linds779 for teaching us! (Ps. My shirt is from @balletlibrarian ‘s book Cantique, you can totally still get ya one. It’s my favorite, obviously.) PD: photo of me and Lindsi Dec from Pacific Northwest Ballet after class.
Once upon a time, my toes used to touch the floor.

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Dear 20-something year old new girl in ballet class

Dear 20 – something year old new girl in ballet class,
I know you probably feel overwhelmed by everyone around you,
Seeing the perfectly sculpted bodies executing moves with seemingly flawless technique as you stand there struggling the follow the person in front of you and keep your head above water.
But I want you to know something;
We’re so glad you’re here.
Those other bodies you see at the barre are only watching you because they are nervous and don’t know what move comes next in the combo, and are hoping you do so you can help keep you both above water. When it feels like they’re criticizing your every move, they’re actually either zoning out to try and retain the combo across the floor, or their learning from you.
That’s right, you’re already a teacher and it’s your first class.
Don’t let your head get to you. You’re doing better than you think.
So even though I’m watching you bang your head against your steering wheel while you go over every fault you remember from the last hour, assuming no one is noticing as you sit in the safety of your car, I’m not sitting in mine judging you. I’m looking at a reflection of myself from not too long ago. I was the girl that broke down in the corner because I should be better. I was the girl that sat in her car before driving off because I knew I couldn’t drive with so many tears in my eyes. So as I watch you do the same, I wish I could go over and hug you and some how transport what I see in you into your brain.
How you stuck out to me as I peaked into the class you were in.
Not because of your flaws—we all have them— but because of something wonderful you possess that not all ballet dancers do;
Passion.
You want this so badly, there’s no denying it. You have so much heart when you dance that I can’t not watch you. That is what will make you a great dancer; not technique or build, or talent. I’ve seen people will all three of those that were so boring. There was no life to their movement.
You are full of life.
It drips from your every fiber.
And that is why I chose to back up instead of saying something. To give you your moment to process.
I know you’ll be back.
Theres something in you crazy enough to fight for what you want.
For now, I’ll just hope you don’t beat yourself up too badly, and that one day you’ll be able to look back and see how every step has a lesson and is worth taking. That every move helps shape you into the person you’re destined to be. That this dream will make you feel more alive than you ever thought possible.
And I’ll keep pulling for you.
You’ll be back
And I look forward to seeing you grow.
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