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Mischief Managed.
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. #leakycon #leakycon2018
Y’all, check out my friend Baileys announcement!! I’m so excited for her and super pumped to watch this series she’s a part of! #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ The concept is simple: follow someone’s journey from surgery to stage. Showing the life of a mucus mutant. Showing the life of a bilingual Deaf family. Showing the life of a dancer and @companythreesixty dancers. It technically hits all the hashtags: #spoonie #deaf #adultballerina #bodypositive #chronicillness. It hopefully connects with many communities and provides another voice in the chorus of those wanting representation in media abound. It is positive: a positive network with a positive focus wanting to counter the negative swarmy troll farm that is most modern media to date. But... what if the concept becomes a reality? What if I show not just the recovery from latest rounds of surgeries... but the pain and swelling and funk between? What if I don’t fulfill some sort of diagnostic paradigm being that I am an Atypical diagnosis (and someone who hopes not to be defined by that anyways where I can)? What if we capture not just the invigorating process of putting together a show with women I ferociously admire and protect... but also, how totally messy dance life can be? What if we showcase a family that’s equal parts Deaf as hearing... yet our variable mix of signing, reading lips, caption and speech isn’t in keeping with what the world wants from us? Choosing to share our story has come with a lot of IFs... but we are braving it none the less. Although I can’t believe our pilot episode premiered TODAY and that I can finally announce the news... fear of judgement subsists. Can perspective, positivity and living an imperfect life as openly as possible actually be of benefit? The verdict is still out... but I’m excited to try. I’m excited to see. And I’m excited to get started.▪️Click Link In Bio To Watch The Pilot Or Go To:▪️#CatchingBreaths
The builders weren’t out today, so I decided to have one last hoorah in our still empty, hurricane Harvey-Ed house. They’ve finally begun repairs, and I’m super pumped for it to be fixed, but also a bit sad at the loss of the house as we knew it and how it was growing up. Here I’m in our game room, the red wall is my bathroom, and to the right is my old bedroom, where I was the night before the storm came. The bed I slept on had ceiling and insulation fallen on it the next day. Still pretty surreal almost a year out. TL;DR I love my new @sodancausa dance sneakers I got from @cinqdanceessentials ! Super pumped for the new year!
We had a guest teacher in class last night. I wrote a blog post about it! Link is in the bio. (Spoiler. It was wonderful.) Thank you so much, @linds779 for teaching us! (Ps. My shirt is from @balletlibrarian ‘s book Cantique, you can totally still get ya one. It’s my favorite, obviously.) PD: photo of me and Lindsi Dec from Pacific Northwest Ballet after class.
Once upon a time, my toes used to touch the floor.

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New class, new teacher (new insight.)

We had our regular teacher for the ballet/pointe IV class last night, Lori.
To say I love her is an understatement.
First off, she knows my old dance teacher. She started out class with roll and asked which of us came from that studio and we raised our hands. It was like she completely understood our plight and empathized. She used to be Jilissa’s neighbor and they are good friends. This made me really want to do Jilissa proud and show how well she trained us.
Lori used to dance with the San Francisco Ballet, (Insert me freaking out here.) although she grew up taking classes in the very building we are in. (I read this in her bio, but it’s definitely amazing hearing her say all of this.) She’s quirky like me, and keeps it light, but she also hones in on us and teaches us.
Not just shows us or not just tells us. She makes sure we have a clear understanding of the movement and why.
I have what I call a “why brain.”
I really like to grasp the full concept, and can sometimes get really frustrated if I don’t understand how I’m doing something, even if it’s correct. Why is it correct? It can get interesting.
But she made sure we all had clear understanding, and without difficulty. It’s like it just rolled right off of her.

I’m notorious for having incorrect arms. (Which, I now have a better understanding of, as she was able to show us efface, ecarte, and croise. Not just show us, but explain them in ways I comprehend.) There was one point where we were going across the floor and realized I had the wrong arms. I switched them and said, “ah, sorry!” kind of under my breath. (I’m also notorious for speaking without realizing it, although I’m getting better at this…)
To which she responded,
Never apologize! Every movement is important!”

This was a new concept to me.
I have been told before that if you mess up, just go with it. If you’re confident about it, most people don’t even notice. I actually won a debate round at a speech and debate tournament with this logic. I debated affirmative while I was supposed to be negative, but I was so convincing, they gave me the win anyway. Ps. I suck at debate. PPs. The topic was interracial couples.
But in dance, you’re always told to strive to be better, to work harder, to be perfect. Having the wrong arms to me was imperfect.
But she didn’t merely scold me or correct me, she noted that doing it incorrectly is an important part of learning the correct way, to not apologize.

We aren’t here to be perfect, we’re here to learn. If we were perfect, we wouldn’t need class and she wouldn’t have a job. It’s not bad to be wrong, we just have to learn how to improve, and being wrong can be just the ticket to learning correctly.

Needless to say, my mind was blown.
I wish this class was more than once a week, but I am beyond grateful to be in it now.

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