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Emilee

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Teaching on my birthday is my favorite thing. Hi, I’m 30, and I gave full sized cupcakes to three year olds and I’m sure their parents hate me
Hi, it’s been a minute, new blog post. Link in bio.
Gotta get back to Hogwarts Gotta get back to school Gotta get myself to Hogwarts Where everything is magicooooool
Mischief Managed.
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. #leakycon #leakycon2018
Y’all, check out my friend Baileys announcement!! I’m so excited for her and super pumped to watch this series she’s a part of! #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ The concept is simple: follow someone’s journey from surgery to stage. Showing the life of a mucus mutant. Showing the life of a bilingual Deaf family. Showing the life of a dancer and @companythreesixty dancers. It technically hits all the hashtags: #spoonie #deaf #adultballerina #bodypositive #chronicillness. It hopefully connects with many communities and provides another voice in the chorus of those wanting representation in media abound. It is positive: a positive network with a positive focus wanting to counter the negative swarmy troll farm that is most modern media to date. But... what if the concept becomes a reality? What if I show not just the recovery from latest rounds of surgeries... but the pain and swelling and funk between? What if I don’t fulfill some sort of diagnostic paradigm being that I am an Atypical diagnosis (and someone who hopes not to be defined by that anyways where I can)? What if we capture not just the invigorating process of putting together a show with women I ferociously admire and protect... but also, how totally messy dance life can be? What if we showcase a family that’s equal parts Deaf as hearing... yet our variable mix of signing, reading lips, caption and speech isn’t in keeping with what the world wants from us? Choosing to share our story has come with a lot of IFs... but we are braving it none the less. Although I can’t believe our pilot episode premiered TODAY and that I can finally announce the news... fear of judgement subsists. Can perspective, positivity and living an imperfect life as openly as possible actually be of benefit? The verdict is still out... but I’m excited to try. I’m excited to see. And I’m excited to get started.▪️Click Link In Bio To Watch The Pilot Or Go To: onlygood.tv▪️#CatchingBreaths

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New Shoes.

I’m kinda sad I didn’t get any pictures in class yesterday, but whatever.
It was my first (actual) class in my new wonder-shoes and to say I was nervous would be an understatement.
I wanted and needed so badly for these shoes to work, and judging by nutcracker rehearsals in them, I wasn’t all that hopeful that they would be better than the ones before.
Our normal teacher, Lori, wasn’t in class so we had the studio owner Ms. Munro teaching our class. I was sad to not have Lori, but having Ms. Munro is never a bad thing. Plus, as long as I give good face, I have found that Ms. Munro doesn’t tell me off if I have to do a few things on demi-pointe. (hehehe.)

Let me just say, it felt so good to be back in class. It also threw some insecurities in my face, but whatever.
Barre on flat at the beginning of the class went well. Ms. Munro complimented my back combre (yeah, no idea if that’s spelled correctly or not.) which made me feel really good. I don’t know if it’s just me, or if something flipped, or what, but it seems like a majority of the class has been kind of slacking. Maybe it’s just because we had Ms. Munro and she’s in Nutcracker mode, but (even with rehearsals) it seems that the class is rather distracted and not so confident. If that even makes sense? I don’t know. But it really showed me how far a little confidence can go–even if you have to wing it.
Ms. Munro seemed to have a lot of compliments for me yesterday, which was pretty cool. That’s never happened before, but hey, I’ll take it! And maybe it’s a mix of throwing caution to the wind with everyone else’s lack of whatever I can’t figure out how to explain. (And it’s not necessarily everyone. There are some really talented dancers in our class. I’m referring to the air as a whole. Maybe that’s what’s tripping me up.) Also, the girls are younger. So it may just be a maturity thing. I dunno.
Anyway. It was really exciting to hear the teacher commend me. It seems that all I’ve had is downs and downs and more downs in class here lately. And it was the first actual class in my new shoes. The last time I had a good class–capability wise–was about a year ago. Ya know, when I first started. There was a period of about 4 classes where I was actually able to do things, and I was afraid I would never see a day like that again.

I think part of what set apart yesterday’s class from the Nutcracker rehearsal last week was the floor. At the studio, it’s a black floor that’s a little more solid. At the Corpus Christi Ballet studio, it’s a little more squishy. I think somehow that had an effect. Mixed with the forced confidence yesterday, and somehow it spurned success.

I was really excited about writing this post after yesterday’s class, and now that it is written, I feel a little ridiculous. I can’t seem to put into words what I want to put into words, and it’s feeling a bit like a train wreck.

Oh well.

It was a great class that left me feeling like I never wanted to go another day without dancing. It gave me hope that I’m not a lost cause, and that maybe I can improve with time.

Also, I looked on the website for Nutcracker photo shoot times and stuff, and saw that I am an Apprentice with the company.
Which sounds pretty cool.
So, there’s that.

2 comments on “New Shoes.

  1. It's great to hear how good you feel about this class and Nutcracker rehearsals 😀
    When will you perform Nutcracker?

    (it's spelled “cambré” (i'm glad i'm french, the terminology is so much easier))

    Like

  2. Emilee says:

    Our performances are December 13, 14, 20, and 21! I'm getting more excited the closer it gets. Just need to clean up my pirouette so I can do it quick enough for the choreography without biting the dirt! hehe

    Thanks!!! I have reaaaaaally been looking into taking French. Such a benefit in this industry!

    Like

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