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Emilee

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I just posted a super difficult blog post that I’ve been trying to write for a few months. I also thought about waiting until the summer to post it, but feel that now is the best time. The details are there, but essentially this is my last year teaching. I also won’t be active on this account anymore. It’ll remain live, as will my blog, but I won’t be checking in on it. This has been an extremely difficult decision to have to come to, but it’s one I can’t avoid anymore. If you’d like to keep up with me, please feel free to follow my personal account @emileeayers or my poetry account @forthestranger (or my “nerd” account if you’re into that, @thenerdjacket ) I love y’all so much and am super grateful for the friends I’ve made over the years through ballet. Super proud of y’all and everything you’re accomplishing every day. (Thanks to Mrs Gigi for this picture from nutcracker this year. It’s super special to me.)
I’ll have a proper post after the trip when I can blog. I’m the meantime, please enjoy this photo of @ballerinakay that I am properly obsessed with. ❤️
Two years ago today, I met @allie_on_pointe in person! In NINE DAYS we’re going to London together! I truly cherish the friends being in the dance world as an adult has given me. ❤️
Caught the train, heading back to hogwarts. See you witches (and wizards) there!
The dance season started up this week! My classes started today, and I wrote a blog post about it. Now I’m gonna go sleep. Link in bio
I was at a Harry Potter convention this weekend with my best friend and had an unexpected ballet encounter. I wrote about it if that’s your sort of thing. Link in the bio. 💛🖤

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The Wizard of Oz

They posted the cast list for The Wizard of Oz yesterday. Being that I didn’t have class yesterday I wasn’t sure if I was going to get to see it or have to wait until today. My friend was sent pictures of the list, which she passed on to me.
I was cast.
As a Winkie Guard (I have no idea what this entails, but I was cast, so I’m rather excited.) which predominately consists of girls from my class, so I know I’m at least on the same level. My eye caught on one of my friend’s names who is a 4/5 with me, and I saw that she and a few other girls on that level had two roles, which was pretty cool. I just kinda figured that maybe I’m just not on that level and that’s okay. It’s a character part anyway, and I haven’t taken a jazz class in years, so they’re way better anyway. I scanned it over kind of quickly, and just kind of carried on texting, not really paying attention.
Then my friend said, “You’re a winkie guard and cover crow!” I said, “What?” And then connected that the girl’s extra role was a crow, and that “cover” was what they were calling understudies. I pulled up the picture that listed understudies and looked at it more clearly.
There is one understudy for the Crow role, and that one is me.

Honestly, I can’t even explain the emotion of euphoria that came over me. It was equivalent to that of my friend who got the cover of Wicked Witch of the West which is a principal role and she’s 15. (Pretty big deal.) My heart exploded. I almost cried.

I felt I bombed that audition. I left and my heart was so heavy. I’ve never experienced that after an audition before. Not even in high school theater or that time I went to a casting call for a movie (hah.) I went in to that audition and wanted to prove myself; to prove that I was better than how I did at the Nutcracker audition with my bum shoes. I wanted to show them that I work hard and can do what they throw at me and that I have potential.
I wanted so badly to have potential.
To be something, to not just be another dancer to fill numbers.
The girls who are the crows are really good. They deserve to have that extra role. They will rock this. They work hard. And as I see them in classes, they’re the ones that I size up to be close to where I am in level. And when you think these things, you hope against all hope that you’re not just kidding yourself. That you really are at least at that level, and not just making yourself out to better in your head than what you really are. So they are this role. And there is one cover. And that cover is me.
I am the next best thing to them. I am the one they trust to fill in should anything happen. They looked at me and thought I could do this.
They saw potential.

Maybe all of this is cheesy. Maybe I’m pathetic.
And if I am, I don’t care.
This really meant more to me than I could put into words. It makes me want to try harder to figure out what the issue is with my shoes. It makes me want to work harder to improve on these things I’m struggling in. It makes me want to put in extra effort to get this right and be better.
It makes me want to do everything I can to show them that they made the right choice.

Plus now I have to get character shoes for this so I’m prepared in case I have to dance it which is kind of exciting.

I’ll have posts and updates on rehearsals and shows.
And Pictures, I’m sure.
🙂

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