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Emilee

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Mischief Managed.
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. #leakycon #leakycon2018
Y’all, check out my friend Baileys announcement!! I’m so excited for her and super pumped to watch this series she’s a part of! #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ The concept is simple: follow someone’s journey from surgery to stage. Showing the life of a mucus mutant. Showing the life of a bilingual Deaf family. Showing the life of a dancer and @companythreesixty dancers. It technically hits all the hashtags: #spoonie #deaf #adultballerina #bodypositive #chronicillness. It hopefully connects with many communities and provides another voice in the chorus of those wanting representation in media abound. It is positive: a positive network with a positive focus wanting to counter the negative swarmy troll farm that is most modern media to date. But... what if the concept becomes a reality? What if I show not just the recovery from latest rounds of surgeries... but the pain and swelling and funk between? What if I don’t fulfill some sort of diagnostic paradigm being that I am an Atypical diagnosis (and someone who hopes not to be defined by that anyways where I can)? What if we capture not just the invigorating process of putting together a show with women I ferociously admire and protect... but also, how totally messy dance life can be? What if we showcase a family that’s equal parts Deaf as hearing... yet our variable mix of signing, reading lips, caption and speech isn’t in keeping with what the world wants from us? Choosing to share our story has come with a lot of IFs... but we are braving it none the less. Although I can’t believe our pilot episode premiered TODAY and that I can finally announce the news... fear of judgement subsists. Can perspective, positivity and living an imperfect life as openly as possible actually be of benefit? The verdict is still out... but I’m excited to try. I’m excited to see. And I’m excited to get started.▪️Click Link In Bio To Watch The Pilot Or Go To: onlygood.tv▪️#CatchingBreaths
The builders weren’t out today, so I decided to have one last hoorah in our still empty, hurricane Harvey-Ed house. They’ve finally begun repairs, and I’m super pumped for it to be fixed, but also a bit sad at the loss of the house as we knew it and how it was growing up. Here I’m in our game room, the red wall is my bathroom, and to the right is my old bedroom, where I was the night before the storm came. The bed I slept on had ceiling and insulation fallen on it the next day. Still pretty surreal almost a year out. TL;DR I love my new @sodancausa dance sneakers I got from @cinqdanceessentials ! Super pumped for the new year!
We had a guest teacher in class last night. I wrote a blog post about it! Link is in the bio. (Spoiler. It was wonderful.) Thank you so much, @linds779 for teaching us! (Ps. My shirt is from @balletlibrarian ‘s book Cantique, you can totally still get ya one. It’s my favorite, obviously.) PD: photo of me and Lindsi Dec from Pacific Northwest Ballet after class.
Once upon a time, my toes used to touch the floor.

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Thoughts.

Today’s rehearsal was the first longer one of a large amount of future long days.
There were many of the larger scenes all together, and it left for many things to be observed.
I thought about how far I still have to go in dance. I thought about how far I’ve come. I thought about how far my friends have come in short amounts of time. I thought about where I could be had I been dancing longer. I thought of how dancing longer may have lead to me feeling burned out rather than as passionate as I do.
I thought of many things.

Then I had one of the little ones next to me. I saw how they went at everything with confidence, unafraid of opinions of people around them. I thought of dancers I’ve gotten to see grow and learn.
I thought of how babies don’t just take off at a run, but have to first learn to crawl, then stand, then walk, then run.
That dance is a similar process. You can’t just start ballet and expect to be perfect a year later. You have to go through the process of learning. It’s easier to accept that when you’re younger than it is for people to accept that as an adult, but the process is the same.
You begin ballet. Then as you learn and progress, you get a little more confident and start learning more complex moves and combinations and start making what you know more challenging. Then you get pointe shoes and have to re-learn what you know to compensate. You don’t just get your shoes and become amazing, it’s a whole process in itself. You get your shoes and learn how to not hate them. Then you learn balance and have to strengthen your muscles. Then you learn how to roll through and scoop. Then you put all of this together and start doing what you knew on flat shoes, just on the tips of your toes.
It takes time and it’s a process,

As an adult, it’s more difficult to remember that you are not immune to the process.
It takes time. It is a process.
You’ll get better if you stick to it, and thinking of the future can be overwhelming as a young adult. But you can’t let that scare you.
Just keep going.
Don’t get anxious.
Take it one class at a time.
Keep pressing.
Keep working hard.
You’ll get there. You’ll improve.
Your hard work isn’t for nothing.

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