search instagram arrow-down
Emilee

Instagram

My front facing camera broke on my phone, making my already limited picture taking even MORE limited. Have a throw back from last spring. I have a blog post in the works. Life has been kinda nutty, my laptop *also* bit the dirt, and things have been kind of overwhelming. Y’all are always on my mind, though! You’ll be hearing from me soon. 💕
Classes yesterday brought to you in part by @leakycon (I don’t usually dress up for costume week, but i do try and incorporate Harry Potter to some degree 🤷🏼‍♀️)
New blog post, link in bio!
My friend Bailey and her company @companythreesixty made this and I have no more words to add. It’s perfect. #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ Why didn’t I report? I didn’t report because I thought that if I’m in a relationship with someone, it meant it was equally my fault. I thought the years of unhealthy feelings towards myself which ensued, were still invalid since it could have been worse. I thought I shouldn’t tell my Momma until a couple of years later on a beautiful mountain walk together, and even then, I softened the story from shame for how I’d appear to the person I love the most. I didn’t report because we live in a world where men use sentences like “it can always be worse” as psychological shrapnel. A world that tells us we should have done more to stop it. A world that, even when I remember the attempts to push away as clearly as consciousness cinema, I was scared to push too hard because I didn’t want to make someone mad. A world that makes me worry at sharing, because I have young students and ‘should be a role-model’: with a role model being pure, respectable, elite, undamaged. Now, a mother, wife, champion, boss... I still worry to report as innocuously as through a #WhyIDidntReport hashtag, lest I somehow appear less for having shared. But as someone who’s survived a darkness far worse than that described, and Shawshanked her way to a life of light- save for second glances over shoulders- I can say that the hardest person to report to is actually... yourself. It’s the you that you had once hoped to be. The you that you’ll never be again. The you that you wish you could go back and protect. The you you wish you had been (louder, less in shock, less weak). The you that once was but was taken. To all the Yous you once were reading this (and the You in me who still feels cemented by shame)... this should never have happened. It doesn’t matter how loud, quiet, forceful... how well you knew them.... You didn’t deserve to lose You because your body wasn’t left as yours. None of us do. None of us ever will. There is no good way to end this bit of writing, because the truth is: it hasn’t ended. A perfect sentence will not wrap this up. Y
Old picture, new post Link in bio
Teaching on my birthday is my favorite thing. Hi, I’m 30, and I gave full sized cupcakes to three year olds and I’m sure their parents hate me

Recent Posts

Recent Comments

vtgem24 on Oh, hi.
anothernightatthebar… on It comes and goes in wave…
vtgem24 on It comes and goes in wave…
anothernightatthebar… on Kansas City Meet-Up
vtgem24 on Kansas City Meet-Up

Archives

Categories

Meta

Categories

Meta

It’s heart.

In the V’s class yesterday, my IV’s teacher came in to run the festival piece with the girls going one more time before they leave Wednesday. She also teaches the Advanced classes and choreographed a few pieces for festival this year.
The rest of us that were there got to watch, which was about half the class.
We lined up at the mirror to face them with excitement to see what was bound to be a beautiful dance.
Before they got started, Ms. Lori asked the rest of us, “Who all is in Wizard of Oz?”
We raised our hands.
She said, “It’s looking really good! Your expression is so serious, what are you called?”

Everyone got a little confused, because most of them are Emeralds or Poppy’s or both, or some various trio or duet or character and most are supposed to have pleasant looks on their faces.
Then someone said it, “Winkie Guards.”
She was talking about my group.
But I was the only one in the room from that group.
So I thanked her and expected her to say something towards the Emeralds as well since they were also at Sunday’s rehearsal.
But she didn’t.

I don’t know if she just didn’t see it, or if she was really that impressed with us Winkie Guards, who it seem have had nothing but critiques on our lack of character and focus.

The girl sitting next to me is one of my friends in the Crow’s dance, and she made some joke about the Emeralds just kind of being there and I said, “my time has come!” and threw out my arms dramatically and we laughed.

It made me happy.
It shocked me a bit.
To be in a room full of some of the best dancers in our entire company and studio and to be the one complimented.

I guess what they say is true,
Technique can only take you so far. It’s heart that really matters.

Leave a Reply
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: