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Emilee

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Mischief Managed.
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. #leakycon #leakycon2018
Y’all, check out my friend Baileys announcement!! I’m so excited for her and super pumped to watch this series she’s a part of! #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ The concept is simple: follow someone’s journey from surgery to stage. Showing the life of a mucus mutant. Showing the life of a bilingual Deaf family. Showing the life of a dancer and @companythreesixty dancers. It technically hits all the hashtags: #spoonie #deaf #adultballerina #bodypositive #chronicillness. It hopefully connects with many communities and provides another voice in the chorus of those wanting representation in media abound. It is positive: a positive network with a positive focus wanting to counter the negative swarmy troll farm that is most modern media to date. But... what if the concept becomes a reality? What if I show not just the recovery from latest rounds of surgeries... but the pain and swelling and funk between? What if I don’t fulfill some sort of diagnostic paradigm being that I am an Atypical diagnosis (and someone who hopes not to be defined by that anyways where I can)? What if we capture not just the invigorating process of putting together a show with women I ferociously admire and protect... but also, how totally messy dance life can be? What if we showcase a family that’s equal parts Deaf as hearing... yet our variable mix of signing, reading lips, caption and speech isn’t in keeping with what the world wants from us? Choosing to share our story has come with a lot of IFs... but we are braving it none the less. Although I can’t believe our pilot episode premiered TODAY and that I can finally announce the news... fear of judgement subsists. Can perspective, positivity and living an imperfect life as openly as possible actually be of benefit? The verdict is still out... but I’m excited to try. I’m excited to see. And I’m excited to get started.▪️Click Link In Bio To Watch The Pilot Or Go To: onlygood.tv▪️#CatchingBreaths
The builders weren’t out today, so I decided to have one last hoorah in our still empty, hurricane Harvey-Ed house. They’ve finally begun repairs, and I’m super pumped for it to be fixed, but also a bit sad at the loss of the house as we knew it and how it was growing up. Here I’m in our game room, the red wall is my bathroom, and to the right is my old bedroom, where I was the night before the storm came. The bed I slept on had ceiling and insulation fallen on it the next day. Still pretty surreal almost a year out. TL;DR I love my new @sodancausa dance sneakers I got from @cinqdanceessentials ! Super pumped for the new year!
We had a guest teacher in class last night. I wrote a blog post about it! Link is in the bio. (Spoiler. It was wonderful.) Thank you so much, @linds779 for teaching us! (Ps. My shirt is from @balletlibrarian ‘s book Cantique, you can totally still get ya one. It’s my favorite, obviously.) PD: photo of me and Lindsi Dec from Pacific Northwest Ballet after class.
Once upon a time, my toes used to touch the floor.

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Pull it together.

Ms. Lori choreographed a dance for the girls who are at festival, so I didn’t expect her to be in class yesterday since the girls left Wednesday. But she stayed behind and took off today instead, thus being in class to teach us.
It was so great having her, especially with the recital piece and more especially since we were off for Spring Break last week.

She has this way of encouraging while she teaches. She tells you what you need to hear (she’s the only one besides the director and Ms Munro [of course] to flat out tell the girls to get into character and why it’s important with Winkie Guards. And she called me out and flat out told them to watch me and do what I do and I was embarrassed and proud at the same time it was wonderful.) but does so in a way that makes you want to try harder. You don’t feel like you’re being cut down, you feel enabled.

She’s been really working us with the details lately, which I absolutely love. So often they fall through the cracks of assumption and it can cause you to look sort of choppy and edgy rather than smooth and crisp like you need to, all because you just don’t realize it what you’re doing isn’t quite up to par.
Yesterday, she made a comment when we were doing a combination that involved going up into passe. She wanted us to get there quickly, and not drag it on. We were coming to passe after doing a pirouette at the barre. So, pirouette, hold it, then go to front attitude. But often we were finding ourselves struggling to hold everything together after the pirouette, thus making it difficult to get into the attitude.

She said, “You have to pull it together.Hold it together, even if you’re struggling to get around, do what you can to engage your core and hold it all together so you can get there.” (paraphrased, but you get the point.)

Instantly my mind thought how relevant this is.

Not to say that you have to bottle up your emotions and never let them out or ignore any bit of emotion, not that at all.

Rather, that when life is crashing around you, when everything gets all wobbly and loose, when things aren’t clear, hold it together; keep your composure, keep a level head. Don’t let yourself freak out and throw everything away just because life threw you a curveball. Because really, the curveballs make us who we are. They test us and show us our limits and teach us new things about ourselves and the world around us. You just have to figure out how to not let yourself give up completely and throw in the towel. You have to remind yourself that you can do this and hold it together until it’s proven.

Pull it together. Hold it together. Even if you’re struggling.

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