search instagram arrow-down
Emilee

Instagram

My front facing camera broke on my phone, making my already limited picture taking even MORE limited. Have a throw back from last spring. I have a blog post in the works. Life has been kinda nutty, my laptop *also* bit the dirt, and things have been kind of overwhelming. Y’all are always on my mind, though! You’ll be hearing from me soon. 💕
Classes yesterday brought to you in part by @leakycon (I don’t usually dress up for costume week, but i do try and incorporate Harry Potter to some degree 🤷🏼‍♀️)
New blog post, link in bio!
My friend Bailey and her company @companythreesixty made this and I have no more words to add. It’s perfect. #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ Why didn’t I report? I didn’t report because I thought that if I’m in a relationship with someone, it meant it was equally my fault. I thought the years of unhealthy feelings towards myself which ensued, were still invalid since it could have been worse. I thought I shouldn’t tell my Momma until a couple of years later on a beautiful mountain walk together, and even then, I softened the story from shame for how I’d appear to the person I love the most. I didn’t report because we live in a world where men use sentences like “it can always be worse” as psychological shrapnel. A world that tells us we should have done more to stop it. A world that, even when I remember the attempts to push away as clearly as consciousness cinema, I was scared to push too hard because I didn’t want to make someone mad. A world that makes me worry at sharing, because I have young students and ‘should be a role-model’: with a role model being pure, respectable, elite, undamaged. Now, a mother, wife, champion, boss... I still worry to report as innocuously as through a #WhyIDidntReport hashtag, lest I somehow appear less for having shared. But as someone who’s survived a darkness far worse than that described, and Shawshanked her way to a life of light- save for second glances over shoulders- I can say that the hardest person to report to is actually... yourself. It’s the you that you had once hoped to be. The you that you’ll never be again. The you that you wish you could go back and protect. The you you wish you had been (louder, less in shock, less weak). The you that once was but was taken. To all the Yous you once were reading this (and the You in me who still feels cemented by shame)... this should never have happened. It doesn’t matter how loud, quiet, forceful... how well you knew them.... You didn’t deserve to lose You because your body wasn’t left as yours. None of us do. None of us ever will. There is no good way to end this bit of writing, because the truth is: it hasn’t ended. A perfect sentence will not wrap this up. Y
Old picture, new post Link in bio
Teaching on my birthday is my favorite thing. Hi, I’m 30, and I gave full sized cupcakes to three year olds and I’m sure their parents hate me

Recent Posts

Recent Comments

vtgem24 on Oh, hi.
anothernightatthebar… on It comes and goes in wave…
vtgem24 on It comes and goes in wave…
anothernightatthebar… on Kansas City Meet-Up
vtgem24 on Kansas City Meet-Up

Archives

Categories

Meta

Categories

Meta

Pull it together.

Ms. Lori choreographed a dance for the girls who are at festival, so I didn’t expect her to be in class yesterday since the girls left Wednesday. But she stayed behind and took off today instead, thus being in class to teach us.
It was so great having her, especially with the recital piece and more especially since we were off for Spring Break last week.

She has this way of encouraging while she teaches. She tells you what you need to hear (she’s the only one besides the director and Ms Munro [of course] to flat out tell the girls to get into character and why it’s important with Winkie Guards. And she called me out and flat out told them to watch me and do what I do and I was embarrassed and proud at the same time it was wonderful.) but does so in a way that makes you want to try harder. You don’t feel like you’re being cut down, you feel enabled.

She’s been really working us with the details lately, which I absolutely love. So often they fall through the cracks of assumption and it can cause you to look sort of choppy and edgy rather than smooth and crisp like you need to, all because you just don’t realize it what you’re doing isn’t quite up to par.
Yesterday, she made a comment when we were doing a combination that involved going up into passe. She wanted us to get there quickly, and not drag it on. We were coming to passe after doing a pirouette at the barre. So, pirouette, hold it, then go to front attitude. But often we were finding ourselves struggling to hold everything together after the pirouette, thus making it difficult to get into the attitude.

She said, “You have to pull it together.Hold it together, even if you’re struggling to get around, do what you can to engage your core and hold it all together so you can get there.” (paraphrased, but you get the point.)

Instantly my mind thought how relevant this is.

Not to say that you have to bottle up your emotions and never let them out or ignore any bit of emotion, not that at all.

Rather, that when life is crashing around you, when everything gets all wobbly and loose, when things aren’t clear, hold it together; keep your composure, keep a level head. Don’t let yourself freak out and throw everything away just because life threw you a curveball. Because really, the curveballs make us who we are. They test us and show us our limits and teach us new things about ourselves and the world around us. You just have to figure out how to not let yourself give up completely and throw in the towel. You have to remind yourself that you can do this and hold it together until it’s proven.

Pull it together. Hold it together. Even if you’re struggling.

Leave a Reply
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: