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Mischief Managed.
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. #leakycon #leakycon2018
Y’all, check out my friend Baileys announcement!! I’m so excited for her and super pumped to watch this series she’s a part of! #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ The concept is simple: follow someone’s journey from surgery to stage. Showing the life of a mucus mutant. Showing the life of a bilingual Deaf family. Showing the life of a dancer and @companythreesixty dancers. It technically hits all the hashtags: #spoonie #deaf #adultballerina #bodypositive #chronicillness. It hopefully connects with many communities and provides another voice in the chorus of those wanting representation in media abound. It is positive: a positive network with a positive focus wanting to counter the negative swarmy troll farm that is most modern media to date. But... what if the concept becomes a reality? What if I show not just the recovery from latest rounds of surgeries... but the pain and swelling and funk between? What if I don’t fulfill some sort of diagnostic paradigm being that I am an Atypical diagnosis (and someone who hopes not to be defined by that anyways where I can)? What if we capture not just the invigorating process of putting together a show with women I ferociously admire and protect... but also, how totally messy dance life can be? What if we showcase a family that’s equal parts Deaf as hearing... yet our variable mix of signing, reading lips, caption and speech isn’t in keeping with what the world wants from us? Choosing to share our story has come with a lot of IFs... but we are braving it none the less. Although I can’t believe our pilot episode premiered TODAY and that I can finally announce the news... fear of judgement subsists. Can perspective, positivity and living an imperfect life as openly as possible actually be of benefit? The verdict is still out... but I’m excited to try. I’m excited to see. And I’m excited to get started.▪️Click Link In Bio To Watch The Pilot Or Go To:▪️#CatchingBreaths
The builders weren’t out today, so I decided to have one last hoorah in our still empty, hurricane Harvey-Ed house. They’ve finally begun repairs, and I’m super pumped for it to be fixed, but also a bit sad at the loss of the house as we knew it and how it was growing up. Here I’m in our game room, the red wall is my bathroom, and to the right is my old bedroom, where I was the night before the storm came. The bed I slept on had ceiling and insulation fallen on it the next day. Still pretty surreal almost a year out. TL;DR I love my new @sodancausa dance sneakers I got from @cinqdanceessentials ! Super pumped for the new year!
We had a guest teacher in class last night. I wrote a blog post about it! Link is in the bio. (Spoiler. It was wonderful.) Thank you so much, @linds779 for teaching us! (Ps. My shirt is from @balletlibrarian ‘s book Cantique, you can totally still get ya one. It’s my favorite, obviously.) PD: photo of me and Lindsi Dec from Pacific Northwest Ballet after class.
Once upon a time, my toes used to touch the floor.

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Selena Week, Night 3/ School Show 

Yesterday we ran the full show in costume straight through. 

I did Act I, then quick changed into Swan for Act II for Lauren’s part. After Act II I took my Hunts Woman costume upstairs. Ms Munro came upstairs and told me to have Hannah do Act IV swan. She had ran it more and it would work well. I agreed and asked her if my runs were any better. She said a little, and showed me how to do them and broke it down a little more for me. My friend Andie was in the audience and was able to tell me what the diff rbetween do was in me compared to everyone else that made me stick out in a bad way. So that helped too. 

I had actually asked one of the other girls if I should ask Ms Munro if Hannah should do Act IV since she had run it so much and her ballet runs are so much better than mine so she would look better overall. This way, I didn’t have to, haha, so that was nice. I’m glad it worked out that way. 
When I took the tape off my feet, it was a little more painful on the right one. I realized when I got home that a blister had formed right where the tape ends, half under and half not, so when I took the tape off it popped it. So that’s cute. 

I got to the theatre this morning and Mrs Alex saw me and asked me how I was feeling. I told her I felt great. I had slept and my feet were good and I was good. She said, “I think we’re gonna keep it how it’s been. It worked really nicely that way.” I asked to make sure Hannah was doing school show and she said yes, and I said great and we went on our way. It was casual. Yet so profound. 

I was excited. It means I can use more energy in Act II since I won’t need to conserve it for anything else. It means I am an Ugly Duckling that became a Swan. It means I get to be a Swan for sure. It means I get to feel what it feels like to work hard for something and get to see it to fruition. It means so much. 

And I’m so glad it’s not just me. That another cover also gets to feel this. Gets to also be a swan. Gets to wear the costume and feel the feelings and wear the headpiece and everything. I wish it could be all of us, but at least it’s more than just one. 

Honestly, being in rehearsals really makes me feel what a privilege this is. How quick it can all be gone. How everything can change in an instance. How none of this was guaranteed to happen. 

And I agree that splitting the two Acts between two people is better. It looks so much cleaner. It’s so good. This is good. I feel way less pressure which is nice. 

I called my sister and told her to get tickets. I called my mom and told her. Then I called my dad to see if he wanted to come. He said, “Thats great! When is it?” And I told him and he said, “I definitely want to go! Looking forward to it!” 

I almost cried. It means so much to me. 

School show was fun, the kids are always so great. They marvel at you and hug you and take pictures with you and give high fives and think you’re the greatest thing in the world no matter what role you are. The diplomacy of everything goes away. It’s stripped down solely to the purity of why we all got into this in the first place. 

One of the girls from the studio came up to me and hugged me. She was a monkey last year in our scene and this year she’s in the first Act. It made me so happy. Another one of the first Act girls took a picture with us. I said, “hey, I know you! I see you all during first Act!” Cause she’s in front of me before I go on. It was sweet. 

We have rehearsal tonight. I’m excited. I hope my foot feels better but I think I can push through regardless. I kinda forget about it once I get going. So that’s good. 

I decided in the stands when my legs are dying, to distract myself I’ll treat it like conjuring a patronus in Harry Potter. You have to think of your happiest memory, focus on it hard, to make the patronus charm work. So I focus on every detail of my happiest memory to keep from fidgeting.

It works 🙂 

A couple side stage Act IV shots 😍😍

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