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Emilee

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Mischief Managed.
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. #leakycon #leakycon2018
Y’all, check out my friend Baileys announcement!! I’m so excited for her and super pumped to watch this series she’s a part of! #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ The concept is simple: follow someone’s journey from surgery to stage. Showing the life of a mucus mutant. Showing the life of a bilingual Deaf family. Showing the life of a dancer and @companythreesixty dancers. It technically hits all the hashtags: #spoonie #deaf #adultballerina #bodypositive #chronicillness. It hopefully connects with many communities and provides another voice in the chorus of those wanting representation in media abound. It is positive: a positive network with a positive focus wanting to counter the negative swarmy troll farm that is most modern media to date. But... what if the concept becomes a reality? What if I show not just the recovery from latest rounds of surgeries... but the pain and swelling and funk between? What if I don’t fulfill some sort of diagnostic paradigm being that I am an Atypical diagnosis (and someone who hopes not to be defined by that anyways where I can)? What if we capture not just the invigorating process of putting together a show with women I ferociously admire and protect... but also, how totally messy dance life can be? What if we showcase a family that’s equal parts Deaf as hearing... yet our variable mix of signing, reading lips, caption and speech isn’t in keeping with what the world wants from us? Choosing to share our story has come with a lot of IFs... but we are braving it none the less. Although I can’t believe our pilot episode premiered TODAY and that I can finally announce the news... fear of judgement subsists. Can perspective, positivity and living an imperfect life as openly as possible actually be of benefit? The verdict is still out... but I’m excited to try. I’m excited to see. And I’m excited to get started.▪️Click Link In Bio To Watch The Pilot Or Go To: onlygood.tv▪️#CatchingBreaths
The builders weren’t out today, so I decided to have one last hoorah in our still empty, hurricane Harvey-Ed house. They’ve finally begun repairs, and I’m super pumped for it to be fixed, but also a bit sad at the loss of the house as we knew it and how it was growing up. Here I’m in our game room, the red wall is my bathroom, and to the right is my old bedroom, where I was the night before the storm came. The bed I slept on had ceiling and insulation fallen on it the next day. Still pretty surreal almost a year out. TL;DR I love my new @sodancausa dance sneakers I got from @cinqdanceessentials ! Super pumped for the new year!
We had a guest teacher in class last night. I wrote a blog post about it! Link is in the bio. (Spoiler. It was wonderful.) Thank you so much, @linds779 for teaching us! (Ps. My shirt is from @balletlibrarian ‘s book Cantique, you can totally still get ya one. It’s my favorite, obviously.) PD: photo of me and Lindsi Dec from Pacific Northwest Ballet after class.
Once upon a time, my toes used to touch the floor.

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That time I left class early.

I was really excited to get into the studio yesterday. I know I had only missed one class, but it felt like much more. This week has been a doozy, and the thought of having a good and sweaty ballet class lifted my hopes.

And then about 30 minutes before I left for class, my stomach decided it would have none of it.

I still went to class, mainly because I’m stubborn as heck. It was a full class, Mrs. Alex taught. It was thoroughly enjoyable. But I found myself spacing out and lethargic, my stomach hurting and my back joining in as well, resonating up into my neck, jaw, and head on the right side. It left me feeling pretty helpless, as well. My chiropractor doesn’t have any answers for me other than “stop dancing” but then not dancing affects my stomach negatively, making that not really an option.

I got through class the best I could, slowly noticing the different things that were off about me–inability to focus, forgetting, eyes feeling really heavy (specifically the left), balance being off, etc–and factoring if I thought I could get through center successfully, or if it would end up being a huge mess. I decided to bow out gracefully and quit while I was ahead.

I waited until we finished barre, then went up to Mrs. Alex and explained, asking if it were okay if I left early. She completely understood and said it was fine. I grabbed my bags and headed out.
For my own knowledge, I poked into the second studio, which was empty, and put on my pointe shoes to see if it helped using the gel tips for my big toes. My feet felt crammed in the shoes, but other then that it was definitely doable. I did a few pirouettes and arabesques and bourrees to feel it out and decided it was okay, then took my shoes off, put on my cover ups and headed out.

I got to my car and saw Ms. Munro walking towards me. I rolled my window down and, bless her heart, she asked if I was okay. I explained how I wasn’t feeling well and how I’ve been sick for years and doctors don’t know why and sometimes it just flairs up and this week had been rough. She said she was hoping I wasn’t hurt and hopes I get to feeling better. I thanked her. (How sweet is that?)


I really hope I can get all of this in check. I seem to remember it getting particularly bad this time last year as well. Not sure what that correlation could be? I don’t really have much room for these kind of things starting in two weeks. Hopefully it starts to settle down.

I fell asleep before 10pm again last night, which half the week I won’t even be home by that time once fall schedule starts up. I guess I’ll just relish in it as long as I can.

This entry was posted in dance.
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