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I just posted a super difficult blog post that I’ve been trying to write for a few months. I also thought about waiting until the summer to post it, but feel that now is the best time. The details are there, but essentially this is my last year teaching. I also won’t be active on this account anymore. It’ll remain live, as will my blog, but I won’t be checking in on it. This has been an extremely difficult decision to have to come to, but it’s one I can’t avoid anymore. If you’d like to keep up with me, please feel free to follow my personal account @emileeayers or my poetry account @forthestranger (or my “nerd” account if you’re into that, @thenerdjacket ) I love y’all so much and am super grateful for the friends I’ve made over the years through ballet. Super proud of y’all and everything you’re accomplishing every day. (Thanks to Mrs Gigi for this picture from nutcracker this year. It’s super special to me.)
I’ll have a proper post after the trip when I can blog. I’m the meantime, please enjoy this photo of @ballerinakay that I am properly obsessed with. ❤️
Two years ago today, I met @allie_on_pointe in person! In NINE DAYS we’re going to London together! I truly cherish the friends being in the dance world as an adult has given me. ❤️
Caught the train, heading back to hogwarts. See you witches (and wizards) there!
The dance season started up this week! My classes started today, and I wrote a blog post about it. Now I’m gonna go sleep. Link in bio
I was at a Harry Potter convention this weekend with my best friend and had an unexpected ballet encounter. I wrote about it if that’s your sort of thing. Link in the bio. 💛🖤

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That time I left class early.

I was really excited to get into the studio yesterday. I know I had only missed one class, but it felt like much more. This week has been a doozy, and the thought of having a good and sweaty ballet class lifted my hopes.

And then about 30 minutes before I left for class, my stomach decided it would have none of it.

I still went to class, mainly because I’m stubborn as heck. It was a full class, Mrs. Alex taught. It was thoroughly enjoyable. But I found myself spacing out and lethargic, my stomach hurting and my back joining in as well, resonating up into my neck, jaw, and head on the right side. It left me feeling pretty helpless, as well. My chiropractor doesn’t have any answers for me other than “stop dancing” but then not dancing affects my stomach negatively, making that not really an option.

I got through class the best I could, slowly noticing the different things that were off about me–inability to focus, forgetting, eyes feeling really heavy (specifically the left), balance being off, etc–and factoring if I thought I could get through center successfully, or if it would end up being a huge mess. I decided to bow out gracefully and quit while I was ahead.

I waited until we finished barre, then went up to Mrs. Alex and explained, asking if it were okay if I left early. She completely understood and said it was fine. I grabbed my bags and headed out.
For my own knowledge, I poked into the second studio, which was empty, and put on my pointe shoes to see if it helped using the gel tips for my big toes. My feet felt crammed in the shoes, but other then that it was definitely doable. I did a few pirouettes and arabesques and bourrees to feel it out and decided it was okay, then took my shoes off, put on my cover ups and headed out.

I got to my car and saw Ms. Munro walking towards me. I rolled my window down and, bless her heart, she asked if I was okay. I explained how I wasn’t feeling well and how I’ve been sick for years and doctors don’t know why and sometimes it just flairs up and this week had been rough. She said she was hoping I wasn’t hurt and hopes I get to feeling better. I thanked her. (How sweet is that?)

I really hope I can get all of this in check. I seem to remember it getting particularly bad this time last year as well. Not sure what that correlation could be? I don’t really have much room for these kind of things starting in two weeks. Hopefully it starts to settle down.

I fell asleep before 10pm again last night, which half the week I won’t even be home by that time once fall schedule starts up. I guess I’ll just relish in it as long as I can.

This entry was posted in dance.
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