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Emilee

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Mischief Managed.
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. #leakycon #leakycon2018
Y’all, check out my friend Baileys announcement!! I’m so excited for her and super pumped to watch this series she’s a part of! #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ The concept is simple: follow someone’s journey from surgery to stage. Showing the life of a mucus mutant. Showing the life of a bilingual Deaf family. Showing the life of a dancer and @companythreesixty dancers. It technically hits all the hashtags: #spoonie #deaf #adultballerina #bodypositive #chronicillness. It hopefully connects with many communities and provides another voice in the chorus of those wanting representation in media abound. It is positive: a positive network with a positive focus wanting to counter the negative swarmy troll farm that is most modern media to date. But... what if the concept becomes a reality? What if I show not just the recovery from latest rounds of surgeries... but the pain and swelling and funk between? What if I don’t fulfill some sort of diagnostic paradigm being that I am an Atypical diagnosis (and someone who hopes not to be defined by that anyways where I can)? What if we capture not just the invigorating process of putting together a show with women I ferociously admire and protect... but also, how totally messy dance life can be? What if we showcase a family that’s equal parts Deaf as hearing... yet our variable mix of signing, reading lips, caption and speech isn’t in keeping with what the world wants from us? Choosing to share our story has come with a lot of IFs... but we are braving it none the less. Although I can’t believe our pilot episode premiered TODAY and that I can finally announce the news... fear of judgement subsists. Can perspective, positivity and living an imperfect life as openly as possible actually be of benefit? The verdict is still out... but I’m excited to try. I’m excited to see. And I’m excited to get started.▪️Click Link In Bio To Watch The Pilot Or Go To: onlygood.tv▪️#CatchingBreaths
The builders weren’t out today, so I decided to have one last hoorah in our still empty, hurricane Harvey-Ed house. They’ve finally begun repairs, and I’m super pumped for it to be fixed, but also a bit sad at the loss of the house as we knew it and how it was growing up. Here I’m in our game room, the red wall is my bathroom, and to the right is my old bedroom, where I was the night before the storm came. The bed I slept on had ceiling and insulation fallen on it the next day. Still pretty surreal almost a year out. TL;DR I love my new @sodancausa dance sneakers I got from @cinqdanceessentials ! Super pumped for the new year!
We had a guest teacher in class last night. I wrote a blog post about it! Link is in the bio. (Spoiler. It was wonderful.) Thank you so much, @linds779 for teaching us! (Ps. My shirt is from @balletlibrarian ‘s book Cantique, you can totally still get ya one. It’s my favorite, obviously.) PD: photo of me and Lindsi Dec from Pacific Northwest Ballet after class.
Once upon a time, my toes used to touch the floor.

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Pointe shoes 

During Monday’s adult class, I figured it was as good a time as any to bust out the new pointe shoes, even though I haven’t had time to tighten the elastics a little or to try out different padding options on my own. I went with what I was used to–the gel tip on my big toe with the normal toe pad stuffed where my short toes are so my shoe doesn’t twist–and hoped for the best.

It had been a while since I last did barre en pointe, but if anywhere is safe it’s going to be the adult class. I felt a little intimidated, like maybe it was expected that I be fabulous since I’m doing pointe in the adult class instead of taking a leveled class, but the pace and focus is better here for what I need. I tried to just suck it up and do my best. Fear is everywhere if you let yourself see it.

There were a few things I was just out of practice in trying to do. Some moments were quite literally laughable, but others showed great promise and improvement. The shoes themselves are wonderful and give me great support where I need it. They hold my foot well and give me confidence to attempt things where other shoes made me hesitate.

As the class went on, my toe started to go numb which I half expected using the gel caps. By the time we got to center, it felt like my toe was replaced with a rock and I had to dance on it. I tried to press through, but there came a point where it wasn’t worth it and I just did things on demi instead. It was towards the very end of the class, so I had made it farther than I usually do, so I tried not to beat myself up over it. I did manage a pirouette before the rock-toe came into full swing, so that was nice.

Typically if there’s something I can’t do, I just sit it out. Like jumps that are hard on my knees. But this time I would mark what I couldn’t do then join in on what I could. In a weird way, it made me feel better about myself; less like a failure. As much as it can be a relief to not have to do some of the more strenuous things, I wish I was able to. It can be quite disheartening to have to sit out of things I should be able to do but can’t because my body gives me all these challenges.

I still need to work on finding out the compromises to be able to have better balance when in my pointe shoes due to my uneven legs. I need to better strengthen certain muscles and know where to place different parts of myself to get where I need to be since being square doesn’t come naturally. Thankfully, I’m starting to get somewhere with all of that.

In yesterday’s class, I was going to try my shoes again, but not using the gel tips. It proved too much without my lambswool, so I just did without them for the class.
I found myself struggling that day with different physical and mental illness symptoms that take an extra bit of me to power through, but thankfully it wasn’t too full blown to cause me to have to take more drastic measures or leave the class. It did compromise my focus a bit, but I was able to power through without too many hose-ups. I did get some good corrections in class about my turnout and really using my plie. These are two things I think I am doing better with than I actually am, so having someone point out that I still need to try a bit harder really helps me to know what I’m actually doing versus what I think I’m doing.

I love going from the V’s class straight into adult because I can implement corrections received in the first class when attacking my second class.

I had some pretty solid balances and moments where I really kept the flow of the movements, which is something I’ve struggled with. I even managed my first true solid double, which was exciting. I still have loads of work to do, but to know I managed it was a great feeling.

I’m taking part in the #perfectyourpirouette challenge on instagram, aiming to work on having better pirouettes by the end of September. I filmed a bit after class, which proved rather rough being that I had been in the studio for 3 hours between teaching my bitty class and taking two classes. My blood sugar was rather low, my organs were beginning to scream at me, and my brain was spacing (but I cut most of what was obvious in that out of the video.) but I want to do this anyway. I figured it’d be a good “beginning” video for it anyway, haha. I’m hopeful that doing some targeted work on my pirouettes will help them improve. Seeing them in video form has already taught me a lot about my tendencies and what to really focus on. I gotta keep my mind open to correction and really strive to implement.

I’m going out of town for almost 2 weeks on the 4th of September for a wedding in New York, and also seeing my brother-in-law’s family up there. I’m trying to squeeze in an adult class while there (New Hampshire), but it’ll depend on the scheduling to see if it’s feasible. I’m hopeful, though. And if not, it’s okay. It would just be nice to not have to go a whole week without dancing.

I tried to add the edited video on here, but my phone is being weird, so here is a link to my Instagram instead. 

Hope y’all are doing well! And if you would like, feel free to join in on the challenge! 

This entry was posted in dance.
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