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Emilee

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My front facing camera broke on my phone, making my already limited picture taking even MORE limited. Have a throw back from last spring. I have a blog post in the works. Life has been kinda nutty, my laptop *also* bit the dirt, and things have been kind of overwhelming. Y’all are always on my mind, though! You’ll be hearing from me soon. 💕
Classes yesterday brought to you in part by @leakycon (I don’t usually dress up for costume week, but i do try and incorporate Harry Potter to some degree 🤷🏼‍♀️)
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My friend Bailey and her company @companythreesixty made this and I have no more words to add. It’s perfect. #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ Why didn’t I report? I didn’t report because I thought that if I’m in a relationship with someone, it meant it was equally my fault. I thought the years of unhealthy feelings towards myself which ensued, were still invalid since it could have been worse. I thought I shouldn’t tell my Momma until a couple of years later on a beautiful mountain walk together, and even then, I softened the story from shame for how I’d appear to the person I love the most. I didn’t report because we live in a world where men use sentences like “it can always be worse” as psychological shrapnel. A world that tells us we should have done more to stop it. A world that, even when I remember the attempts to push away as clearly as consciousness cinema, I was scared to push too hard because I didn’t want to make someone mad. A world that makes me worry at sharing, because I have young students and ‘should be a role-model’: with a role model being pure, respectable, elite, undamaged. Now, a mother, wife, champion, boss... I still worry to report as innocuously as through a #WhyIDidntReport hashtag, lest I somehow appear less for having shared. But as someone who’s survived a darkness far worse than that described, and Shawshanked her way to a life of light- save for second glances over shoulders- I can say that the hardest person to report to is actually... yourself. It’s the you that you had once hoped to be. The you that you’ll never be again. The you that you wish you could go back and protect. The you you wish you had been (louder, less in shock, less weak). The you that once was but was taken. To all the Yous you once were reading this (and the You in me who still feels cemented by shame)... this should never have happened. It doesn’t matter how loud, quiet, forceful... how well you knew them.... You didn’t deserve to lose You because your body wasn’t left as yours. None of us do. None of us ever will. There is no good way to end this bit of writing, because the truth is: it hasn’t ended. A perfect sentence will not wrap this up. Y
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Teaching on my birthday is my favorite thing. Hi, I’m 30, and I gave full sized cupcakes to three year olds and I’m sure their parents hate me

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Costume fittings 

The Nutcracker cast list is out, and thus begins the greatness of another season. 

Yesterday we had our costume fittings for the roles I’m cast in. (Which is where I discovered the fact of my last post.) I got to see some of my friends I haven’t seen in months since I’m not able to take the level VI this year, as well as other dance friends, and was finally able to meet a couple of new friends. 

I had the fitting for Lilac first, which I had heard we were getting new costumes for this role. This is kind of a big deal, since we haven’t had new costumes for the flowers in decades. And understandably so. The old costumes were platter tutus, like the roses. 


They were beautiful and intricate, but had seen a lot of use over the years. I had heard they were wanting to start updating the flowers costumes, but didn’t know if or when it would happen. It’s pretty cool looking on your costumes and seeing the history of who has worn it before you. But getting to be the first name in the costume is pretty cool, too. Knowing it was made to your measurements is incredible. 

This fitting had a bigger time allotment, being that it was still in two pieces and needed to be pinned together so it could be finished in time. 

(Missing two of my babies in that picture)
Mrs Jane even made new flower sashes, which are absolutely incredible and so gorgeous. 

I really like it because I feel like it brings more distinction to the separate flowers. Petit fleurs are in dance dressses, lilacs are now in romantic tutus, and the roses are in platter tutus. Plus, it makes more sense that the petit fleurs and lilacs be more closely related since they dance together more. 

When we did Wizard of Oz my first year here, they made new costumes for the poppies and emeralds. I wasn’t all that good en pointe and wasn’t in the roles, so I sat back and watched as all my friends got to wear these brand new beautiful costumes. As Mrs Jane fitted me, I felt redeemed. That all my hard work and patience paid off. I was glad that I saw it as inspiration to keep working hard rather than getting upset about it. That would have been so pointless. There’s no way I could have successfully danced those roles. But now that I’ve had some more time and more work, I get to dance the role I’ve always wanted to have. Silly as it sounds, being that it’s “just” Lilac. But my adult ballet friends that have gone before me all made it to the level of lilac, and thus it became a sort of goal. To be like them. To work hard and keep improving. And I’ve made it. I’ve done it. 

We had snow fittings shortly after, which have these gorgeous costumes that have been used over the years. 


They’ve always been some of my favorite, being a huge history buff. I absolutely love the fabric used in these, and have looked forward to getting to dance this role, even though it’s a bit difficult. But I’m ready for the challenge. 

Rehearsals will start up soon. I’ve missed being surrounded by my dance friends every weekend. Though invariably things change every year, making it a new dynamic each season. And though I’ll never be able to replace the greatness that was my first two seasons with this company, I’m excited to have a third. This year is the last year for many of our top dancers. It’ll be interesting navigating next year with such a new variation of talent and levels and all. 

I’m gonna enjoy this year, start to finish. Making the most of it and soaking in everything I can while I have it. 

This entry was posted in dance.

2 comments on “Costume fittings 

  1. How amazing!! What an awesome experience.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! It’s been pretty incredible!

      Like

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