I probably shouldn’t have gone to class on Monday, but I went anyway.
I was exhausted, had to work late, and my brain was sufficiently fried, and all this was coming off the madness weekend.
Even though it was possible I would get sick, or pass out, or just be completely worthless, I wanted to dance more than anything else. My body longed to get lost in the movement and in the beauty of all ballet is. Even if I can’t do everything, even if my body limits me.
I was a little nervous because I didn’t know if I could handle a class that was filled with many corrections, or where I felt I was being watched more than usual. I wanted to be invisible. And I wanted to dance.
Thankfully, it was exactly what I was hoping for. And I left the class feeling weak, but my heart was full.
And I realized, half of what is wrong with me is that I feel so empty inside. I haven’t been able to do something just because I love it. We’ve either been so wrapped up in rehearsing the show and how that needs to be done correctly, or I just haven’t been well enough to go. But Monday brought me back to why I began this in the first place. It reminded me of why I love it. Which, honestly, was everything.
I apologize if I’m a bit silent. Life is currently pretty overwhelming and just getting through each day is proving to be difficult. But I’ll do what I can to still stay active as much as I can.
I hope you are all well. ❤
Started ballet late October of 2011 at the age of 23.
Began pointe training late August of 2013.