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Emilee

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Hi, it’s been a minute, new blog post. Link in bio.
Gotta get back to Hogwarts Gotta get back to school Gotta get myself to Hogwarts Where everything is magicooooool
Mischief Managed.
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. #leakycon #leakycon2018
Y’all, check out my friend Baileys announcement!! I’m so excited for her and super pumped to watch this series she’s a part of! #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ The concept is simple: follow someone’s journey from surgery to stage. Showing the life of a mucus mutant. Showing the life of a bilingual Deaf family. Showing the life of a dancer and @companythreesixty dancers. It technically hits all the hashtags: #spoonie #deaf #adultballerina #bodypositive #chronicillness. It hopefully connects with many communities and provides another voice in the chorus of those wanting representation in media abound. It is positive: a positive network with a positive focus wanting to counter the negative swarmy troll farm that is most modern media to date. But... what if the concept becomes a reality? What if I show not just the recovery from latest rounds of surgeries... but the pain and swelling and funk between? What if I don’t fulfill some sort of diagnostic paradigm being that I am an Atypical diagnosis (and someone who hopes not to be defined by that anyways where I can)? What if we capture not just the invigorating process of putting together a show with women I ferociously admire and protect... but also, how totally messy dance life can be? What if we showcase a family that’s equal parts Deaf as hearing... yet our variable mix of signing, reading lips, caption and speech isn’t in keeping with what the world wants from us? Choosing to share our story has come with a lot of IFs... but we are braving it none the less. Although I can’t believe our pilot episode premiered TODAY and that I can finally announce the news... fear of judgement subsists. Can perspective, positivity and living an imperfect life as openly as possible actually be of benefit? The verdict is still out... but I’m excited to try. I’m excited to see. And I’m excited to get started.▪️Click Link In Bio To Watch The Pilot Or Go To: onlygood.tv▪️#CatchingBreaths
The builders weren’t out today, so I decided to have one last hoorah in our still empty, hurricane Harvey-Ed house. They’ve finally begun repairs, and I’m super pumped for it to be fixed, but also a bit sad at the loss of the house as we knew it and how it was growing up. Here I’m in our game room, the red wall is my bathroom, and to the right is my old bedroom, where I was the night before the storm came. The bed I slept on had ceiling and insulation fallen on it the next day. Still pretty surreal almost a year out. TL;DR I love my new @sodancausa dance sneakers I got from @cinqdanceessentials ! Super pumped for the new year!

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Dehydrated. 

I was pleased to find that work hasn’t been crazy enough this week to cause me to miss classes. I thought it would have kicked in already, but so far so good. This means I would only miss three weeks tops. Hopefully I can make at least one class even on the worst weeks, but we’ll see. If all else fails, I’ll do stuff at home. It’s just better in the studio. 

Barre felt so good in class yesterday. Like when you are super dehydrated and drink a cold glass of water. Crazy that I had only gone a week without class, but also factor in the intense rehearsal we had the day before and it makes a bit more sense. 

When we got to center for pointe, my feet felt like they hadn’t even left the shoes. Like they had had no rest since the last time they, even though it had been over 24 hours. It limited me a bit on how much I could do since the pain was pretty intense, but I tried anyway. 

And that’s the difference; I tried. Usually I would panic and freak myself out before I could even give myself a shot at the movements, but even though some of them were new and scary, I tried. I largely did not succeed, but that is okay. It’s one step closer to one day succeeding. It also alleviates many mental blocks that could form from fear I let creep in and tell me I can’t do it. And in trying I could tell that had my feet not felt like death, I would have been more successful. I left feeling empowered, not defeated. And that makes all the difference. 

I also noticed one of the girls in our class. I first met her last year when she was on the fours class recital with us. She was a 3/4 and I was a 4/5. This past year they let her go ahead and come on to the 5s. I was very proud of her. She had been working really hard, taking private lessons, and doing everything she could to work harder. Not just from last year, not just from the start of this season, but even since swan lake, I have noticed a vast improvement in her. Like something just decided to click. Where she used to just give a really good effort but still come up just short, now she gives really good effort and attains. The details are smoothing out and becoming more defined. And yesterday as I watched her in the second group of a combination, I watched her successfully hit all the turns we usually find difficult, and keep up with the movement and do it all the right way. I watched her succeed, and I’ll be damned if she’s not becoming a force to be reckoned with. 

I was so grateful for the reminder she gave me that hard work matters, that it does pay off, and that attitude and determination are truly everything. 

Not to mention, she’s one of my fellow Ugly Ducklings, and that makes me even more proud. 

(That’s you, Maddie.) 

I’m excited for today’s class. I’m hopeful in my abilities and that it will go well. What’s more, I’m eager to come alive. 
Side note. I bought a platter tutu on a whim and it came in and I’m SO excited. 

   
   

This entry was posted in dance.
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