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Emilee

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My friend Bailey and her company @companythreesixty made this and I have no more words to add. It’s perfect. #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ Why didn’t I report? I didn’t report because I thought that if I’m in a relationship with someone, it meant it was equally my fault. I thought the years of unhealthy feelings towards myself which ensued, were still invalid since it could have been worse. I thought I shouldn’t tell my Momma until a couple of years later on a beautiful mountain walk together, and even then, I softened the story from shame for how I’d appear to the person I love the most. I didn’t report because we live in a world where men use sentences like “it can always be worse” as psychological shrapnel. A world that tells us we should have done more to stop it. A world that, even when I remember the attempts to push away as clearly as consciousness cinema, I was scared to push too hard because I didn’t want to make someone mad. A world that makes me worry at sharing, because I have young students and ‘should be a role-model’: with a role model being pure, respectable, elite, undamaged. Now, a mother, wife, champion, boss... I still worry to report as innocuously as through a #WhyIDidntReport hashtag, lest I somehow appear less for having shared. But as someone who’s survived a darkness far worse than that described, and Shawshanked her way to a life of light- save for second glances over shoulders- I can say that the hardest person to report to is actually... yourself. It’s the you that you had once hoped to be. The you that you’ll never be again. The you that you wish you could go back and protect. The you you wish you had been (louder, less in shock, less weak). The you that once was but was taken. To all the Yous you once were reading this (and the You in me who still feels cemented by shame)... this should never have happened. It doesn’t matter how loud, quiet, forceful... how well you knew them.... You didn’t deserve to lose You because your body wasn’t left as yours. None of us do. None of us ever will. There is no good way to end this bit of writing, because the truth is: it hasn’t ended. A perfect sentence will not wrap this up. Y
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Teaching on my birthday is my favorite thing. Hi, I’m 30, and I gave full sized cupcakes to three year olds and I’m sure their parents hate me
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Be a swan, not a chicken 

My family lives in Kansas near the Missouri border and my cousin is getting married tomorrow, so we drove up on Thursday (through terrible storms and tornado warnings) for this momentous occasion. 


My sister and I planned to do a bit of shopping Friday since the outlet malls are literally a five minute drive from my aunts house. I had heard that Eleve, a dancewear company, had one shop and it was in downtown Kansas City, so I brought it up to her. I wasn’t 100% sure we would get to go, but she made it happen. 

Guys. Its leotard heaven. 

The website is really great about having details on how to get to their shop. They tell you the address, as well as where their parking lot is. There are signs showing you you’re in the right place, but even if there weren’t, the directions online are enough to get you there. 

The store front is actually a furniture store of some kind, and Eleve is off to the back part on the side street. There’s a sign there instructing you to press the buzzer on the left and if it didn’t open the door to call them and someone would answer and let you in. 


I pressed the buzzer. It didn’t work. So I called. They were really nice about helping us get in. You walk two flights of stairs (I guess it’s technically just one flight? Whatever.) and you come to this heavy metal door 


It felt like we were in some super fancy fashion district or something. 

You open the door and ta-da! You’ve entered heaven. 


(Featuring my sister.) 

We were greeted by a nice lady who showed us where everything was. On the right is all the leotards. She showed us what was the kids section, and on the left is the longer skirts and specialty things. 

After taking a second to realize this is reality, I got to looking. 

I was nervous that they might not have much in my size already made. I often get nervous going into big named dance places, afraid I’ll be judged as I don’t look like a dancer. When I confessed this to a friend she told me, “be a swan, not a chicken!” I held to that and went for it. Obviously I’m grateful I did. 

On the right side, they had a row of mediums on top, a row of large on bottom, a top and bottom row of skirts–patterned then solid–a top and bottom row of smalls, and then a top and bottom of kids sized leotards and skirts. 

On the left side was the men’s section, along with the longer skirts and other various things. 

I found two leotards I really loved and decided to try them on. I was still nervous they wouldn’t quite fit. The measurements are perfect everywhere but my hips, which fluctuate anyway. I held my breath and went for it. 

And they were perfect. And I was so happy. 

I tried on a skirt, since they’re similar styles to the ones that are currently all the rage at my studio. Super cute, but they way they’re cut made me too nervous that they’d make my hips look worse to take the risk and spend the money on one. I was right. It fit, but when it inevitably found its way to my waist instead of hips, it looks awkward. Which was great to know! I’ll stick to wrap skirts. But these would be super cute on my friends. And they’re a great price and coordinate with the leotards. 


These are the two I got 😍😍😍

The lady that helped us came forward coincidentally at the perfect time. 

The way the layout works, the sewing machines are behind the front wall, if you will, and behind the stand alone wall is where they keep all the fabrics in organized bins. It’s also where they cut all the fabrics. 

She introduced herself as Jessica, the one who had responded to my email asking if they were closed for Memorial Day, and was shocked that I was ready so quickly. I told her I had creeped the website and knew was I was looking for. 

She was really nice and rang me up, then told me about the 10% off they were offering currently. I told her I was from Texas and my aunt lives close so we came by and she told us how she loved when people came from out of town, especially how they’d post somewhere about it and all their friends would be jealous. (Hey friends 😉) I told her about my blog and how I definitely had loads of friends who wished they were also there. She told me that if I wanted to make a custom order, doing so in store cuts productions time to two weeks instead of six weeks if you were to order online. So of course I wanted to. She showed me where the different fabrics were and told me to take a look around. 


Emily was back there, working on a few things, and was also nice as can be. They were focused. And it made me feel at home. 

I decided on a Sally with 


On top and a lipstick pink on bottom. 

I’m so excited. 


Jessica finished ringing us up, and told me I’d also qualify for tax free (I don’t know how but I’ll take it) (I think that’s what she said at least. Anyway, it was a slick discount) on top of 10% off and free shipping. I was on cloud nine. 

She wrapped it all up for me, gave me their card, and I was so elated I almost went into a bathroom instead of the exit door. 

I posted about it on Instagram, to which they liked and commented. 

They’re such an incredible company, and the quality of their leotards is top notch. Plus the fit is fabulous. I’m so happy, y’all. 

(You should check them out if you get the chance.) 

I still can’t believe I got to go, and I’m so excited for my custom order to come in as well. Nothing but love and respect for Eleve. (My phone isn’t doing the little accent mark. Ugh.)

I’m at my aunt’s house which essentially is like a Jane Austen novel come to life. 


I also took this picture, which I had taken before in September of 2014. 


And now my family is back and I’m gonna spend time with them 😊

Enjoy!

This entry was posted in dance.
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