I hesitated for a while about making my blog more public. It’s never really been a private thing, being that it is on the Internet, but I never really told many people about it either. Somehow, word started picking up, or google searches happened, or something, and I started noticing an uptick in views. People from different places all over the world were coming to read my words.
Why? What do I have to say that other people would actually care to read? I’m sure much of it is long, drawn out, and boring. Heck, most of the views may have just been from spam sites or something.
But then I started getting comments. People were pausing to take time to tell me their thoughts or their stories.
I decided to take the next step and give it a .com. The name inspired by a shirt I found, I transferred over here to WordPress, made an Instagram and Facebook page, and just let the interwebz do its thing.
Now I’m not internet famous or anything, but I do get hits on the site. Some for more than I’d ever imagine. I hardly know how to navigate this new domain like I did my old one, but it doesn’t seem to hold it back much. I’ve had a few posts that blew up like the time I went to So You Think You Can Dance?’s tour or the time I got to go again. Or even the time I won a pointe shoe fitting through Capezio. These are interesting topics, though, and therefore cause wide interest. A few of my Swan Lake posts garnered a bit of attention, which really meant a lot to me.
I started hearing from these people I’ve never met who had followed my story and cheered me on. And even as recent as my most recent post, one I didn’t think would matter much, one I almost didn’t even post, I’ve had positive feedback and encouragement. One from a favorite dance mom from our studio offering advice on how to find solutions to my pointe shoe problems, another from an instagram friend doing the same, both helping lead me in a direction that looks hopeful in helping me find answers to my problems and knowing where to go from here.
I took a risk making this blog so public. I sacrificed the security in anonymity and the safety in being to fully express like I used to. But what I’ve found is a sense of camaraderie I wouldn’t have had otherwise. I’ve found myself in a community of people just like me, willing to stand beside me and help me chase this dream of mine. I’ve found friendship and people who won’t let me give up when all seems lost and impossible.
And that is a gift that is priceless.
(And now I have a buddy to take class with whenever I can get up to seeing my best friend in Dallas! How cool is that? This introvert is extremely grateful.)
We’ll see where things go from here.
My Dad, sister, and I head to Kansas tomorrow for my cousins wedding this weekend. Hoping to get to go by the Eleve Dancewear store in Kansas City while we’re there. Doing things like this always makes me a bit nervous as I feel I’m judged for not being a “typical dancer type.” I’ve gotten quite a bit of backlash in the past and found myself with an underlying fear of it. Still, I need to be a swan, not a chicken, and just go for it. Screw the haters and prove I’m just as capable. And give myself room for learning. I may not be where I want to be, but I’m quite farther than where I started.
Give yourself a break, Emilee. Progress takes time.