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My front facing camera broke on my phone, making my already limited picture taking even MORE limited. Have a throw back from last spring. I have a blog post in the works. Life has been kinda nutty, my laptop *also* bit the dirt, and things have been kind of overwhelming. Y’all are always on my mind, though! You’ll be hearing from me soon. 💕
Classes yesterday brought to you in part by @leakycon (I don’t usually dress up for costume week, but i do try and incorporate Harry Potter to some degree 🤷🏼‍♀️)
New blog post, link in bio!
My friend Bailey and her company @companythreesixty made this and I have no more words to add. It’s perfect. #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ Why didn’t I report? I didn’t report because I thought that if I’m in a relationship with someone, it meant it was equally my fault. I thought the years of unhealthy feelings towards myself which ensued, were still invalid since it could have been worse. I thought I shouldn’t tell my Momma until a couple of years later on a beautiful mountain walk together, and even then, I softened the story from shame for how I’d appear to the person I love the most. I didn’t report because we live in a world where men use sentences like “it can always be worse” as psychological shrapnel. A world that tells us we should have done more to stop it. A world that, even when I remember the attempts to push away as clearly as consciousness cinema, I was scared to push too hard because I didn’t want to make someone mad. A world that makes me worry at sharing, because I have young students and ‘should be a role-model’: with a role model being pure, respectable, elite, undamaged. Now, a mother, wife, champion, boss... I still worry to report as innocuously as through a #WhyIDidntReport hashtag, lest I somehow appear less for having shared. But as someone who’s survived a darkness far worse than that described, and Shawshanked her way to a life of light- save for second glances over shoulders- I can say that the hardest person to report to is actually... yourself. It’s the you that you had once hoped to be. The you that you’ll never be again. The you that you wish you could go back and protect. The you you wish you had been (louder, less in shock, less weak). The you that once was but was taken. To all the Yous you once were reading this (and the You in me who still feels cemented by shame)... this should never have happened. It doesn’t matter how loud, quiet, forceful... how well you knew them.... You didn’t deserve to lose You because your body wasn’t left as yours. None of us do. None of us ever will. There is no good way to end this bit of writing, because the truth is: it hasn’t ended. A perfect sentence will not wrap this up. Y
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Teaching on my birthday is my favorite thing. Hi, I’m 30, and I gave full sized cupcakes to three year olds and I’m sure their parents hate me

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Update and nutcracker program pictures. 

I feel like there has been potential for at least three posts since my last and it hasn’t even been a week. Yet now that I’m here with my keys to the keyboard, I feel like I don’t have words to give.

Good thing is we had program pictures yesterday! And a picture is worth a thousand words, right? So that’s something.

Monday’s class went rather well, including Mrs. Alex ending by saying, “That class was on fleek.” I told her I was quoting her on that. hehe

(also, let it be known that my spellcheck is trying to correct “fleek.” hehehe)

Wednesday was pretty rough. It started out decently enough, but by the time I got to Adult Ballet, it was as though my muscles felt this weird exhaustive pain-ish-sensation and I couldn’t do things I know I’m capable of doing. It was beyond frustrating.Ms. Munro kept correcting me, ironically on things I’ve been and need to continue to work on and not on the things I was screwing up because of whatever my body was doing. But my brain was distracted by my body acting weird so I couldn’t seem to think about the things I needed to. It was rouuuuugh. Then, to top it off, my achilles has been hurting quite a bit. So much so, that by the time rehearsals came around on Saturday, I could hardly get through barre, let alone trying to rehearse on pointe. I felt like a failure. I hate it. It makes me so mad. And there’s not much I can offer before I may or may not get diagnosed. But even so, is it just an excuse? Ugggggh. 


I’m struggling in Snow, but my friend Katerina is going to help tutor me, which means a lot. I wasn’t here last week, so this past weekend was rough trying to catch up in a shorter rehearsal time. Flowers went better, so that was nice. This Saturday is auditions for Snow White; our spring show. So, I’m a bit nervous. But, I mean, I can only do what I can do.

The reality of my age is beginning to hit me, as well as the reality that I’m not okay. Something has to be wrong with me. I’m actually in a lighter work load season or whatever and actually more sick than I usually am. It’s frustrating and confusing and exhausting. Instead of being upset about it, I’m trying to soak in every moment I have. Next year will already be substantially different, simply because so many people are graduating. But that’s okay. Who knows what next year will bring? Thinking back on years, they all seem to be the same, but I know so much changes every year, and tomorrow is never guaranteed.

Anyway, on to the pictures.

Welp. These uploaded backwards. So… we begin with the dabbing Rat Queen and Nutcracker! (They had me fill in for pictures. Not near hard core enough to really be this role.) 

I love my friends 

True life 

This one is my favorite. Hands down. 

Right before I was told to stop messing with it 😂

We’re related. Not really. But really. 

Saw this one and smiled 

I love my people. All these people. And some not shown. I love them. Yesterday was wonderful. These costumes are fabulous. Happy clam. 

This entry was posted in dance.

5 comments on “Update and nutcracker program pictures. 

  1. Kiralia says:

    oh, I love pictures! Shows that you really have fun together 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! We really, really do. They bring my heart such joy!


  2. You always have the best photos! I love the white dresses with the crowns. I need one!! 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you!! those are the snow costumes. they’re so incredible!!


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