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Emilee

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Mischief Managed.
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. #leakycon #leakycon2018
Y’all, check out my friend Baileys announcement!! I’m so excited for her and super pumped to watch this series she’s a part of! #Repost @catchingbreaths with @get_repost ・・・ The concept is simple: follow someone’s journey from surgery to stage. Showing the life of a mucus mutant. Showing the life of a bilingual Deaf family. Showing the life of a dancer and @companythreesixty dancers. It technically hits all the hashtags: #spoonie #deaf #adultballerina #bodypositive #chronicillness. It hopefully connects with many communities and provides another voice in the chorus of those wanting representation in media abound. It is positive: a positive network with a positive focus wanting to counter the negative swarmy troll farm that is most modern media to date. But... what if the concept becomes a reality? What if I show not just the recovery from latest rounds of surgeries... but the pain and swelling and funk between? What if I don’t fulfill some sort of diagnostic paradigm being that I am an Atypical diagnosis (and someone who hopes not to be defined by that anyways where I can)? What if we capture not just the invigorating process of putting together a show with women I ferociously admire and protect... but also, how totally messy dance life can be? What if we showcase a family that’s equal parts Deaf as hearing... yet our variable mix of signing, reading lips, caption and speech isn’t in keeping with what the world wants from us? Choosing to share our story has come with a lot of IFs... but we are braving it none the less. Although I can’t believe our pilot episode premiered TODAY and that I can finally announce the news... fear of judgement subsists. Can perspective, positivity and living an imperfect life as openly as possible actually be of benefit? The verdict is still out... but I’m excited to try. I’m excited to see. And I’m excited to get started.▪️Click Link In Bio To Watch The Pilot Or Go To: onlygood.tv▪️#CatchingBreaths
The builders weren’t out today, so I decided to have one last hoorah in our still empty, hurricane Harvey-Ed house. They’ve finally begun repairs, and I’m super pumped for it to be fixed, but also a bit sad at the loss of the house as we knew it and how it was growing up. Here I’m in our game room, the red wall is my bathroom, and to the right is my old bedroom, where I was the night before the storm came. The bed I slept on had ceiling and insulation fallen on it the next day. Still pretty surreal almost a year out. TL;DR I love my new @sodancausa dance sneakers I got from @cinqdanceessentials ! Super pumped for the new year!
We had a guest teacher in class last night. I wrote a blog post about it! Link is in the bio. (Spoiler. It was wonderful.) Thank you so much, @linds779 for teaching us! (Ps. My shirt is from @balletlibrarian ‘s book Cantique, you can totally still get ya one. It’s my favorite, obviously.) PD: photo of me and Lindsi Dec from Pacific Northwest Ballet after class.
Once upon a time, my toes used to touch the floor.

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Excuses, excuses.

My stomach finally started feeling better on Sunday, and I was hopeful I would be able to make it to class this week.

Then on Sunday night, my sinuses decided I needed a swift kick in the face.

Already exhausted from the overload of pushing through last week, having simple sinus issues makes sleeping weird. I oddly enough could still breathe through my nose mostly, so that wasn’t horrible, but it caused me to have weird dreams and restless sleep, almost feeling like I didn’t sleep much at all, even though I knew I had.

I still went to work. Still made it through the day. Still hoped it would all be okay and once I got going I’d do better. Which I did, for the most part, but by 5 o’clock, I was wiped out. On Monday, reluctantly, I went home.

But today is Wednesday. And today is another opportunity for a class. A great class. I went to be hopeful that I would be well enough to go. Then I woke up and the medication I took left me feeling even weirder, and the prospect of getting to stay for class seemed less and less.

I did finally get to go to the chiropractor yesterday. Even he was like, “I haven’t seen you in ages!” and I’m wondering if having missed for so long may even play a factor into it. (I haven’t had sinus issues in about six years.) But, unfortunately, I just don’t think staying for class is going to happen again today.

My mind is doing a number with me on this one:

“You always have an excuse. You’re never going to get back into the studio if you succumb to every one of them. When will enough be enough? Stop being lazy.”

But see, that’s just it. I’m not being lazy.

Unfortunately, sometimes you have to take time. Sometimes you have to factor in that pushing through could do more harm that good. And even if it lasts longer than  a month, sometimes that’s what it takes.

I successfully avoided the burnout I experienced last year where I had worked my first tax season and made it through Swan Lake, having to take four days off work following being unable to get out of bed. But that doesn’t mean I’m out of the woods. Even with all my precautions, my body is still protesting. And though I don’t want to, I have to listen. If I ignore this, it could be more harm than good.

Thankfully I’m still able to enjoy things like watching my company and my friends company and companies I don’t know perform at the Regional Dance America National Festival, where they are live streaming their performances each of the nights. (The link is here.) I’m able to remain inspired, even if I can’t participate. I was supposed to go with them this year, but unfortunately, that fell through. It’s a blow knowing they’re taking class from one of my all time favorite ballerinas, Lauren Anderson, but it’s still cool knowing that my babies are there and they’re getting to do it still, even if I can’t join them. I’m so proud of them and all they’re accomplishing.

Also, the dance world via instagram is leading to new friendships and fun connections, like last night when someone commented on my story of watching the live stream, causing us to realize she went to the same studio one of my friends now goes to since they moved. The world is small and incredible.

If you follow me and haven’t yet, please introduce yourself! I’d love to get to know you, especially if I don’t follow you yet. Sometimes new follows get lost in a surge or happen on a day I can’t check my account and I miss them. I don’t want to miss them.

Hope you all are well!

This entry was posted in dance.
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